If he is willing to push through his fear of opening up, it's likely he cares for and feels safe with you. Be aware of how often he is there for you. If he is a consistently supportive presence in your life, he is expressing his love. Look out for signs that he likes being physically close for you.
Have a conversation with your partner and make sure they understand that their emotional unavailability is a problem for you. Confirm that they are willing to do something about it. Make sure that they understand that they need to take responsibility for making a concerted effort to reach out to you.
"Another reason someone might attract someone emotionally unavailable is because they have low self-esteem. For whatever reason (body image issues, experience of being bullied, job instability, addiction, or mental health issues), they may not believe they are worthy of love and commitment," she says.
An emotionally unavailable person often develops arrogance from a lack of self-esteem. In order to feel the power and control they are lacking, they may feel the need to show others that they are “better” than them.
How do emotionally unavailable men act in a relationship?
An emotionally unavailable person is also not receptive or supportive when you express your feelings. If your partner becomes uncomfortable, put off, frustrated, or withdrawn when you choose to open up and be vulnerable, this is an indicator that they're not good at handling emotions—both their own as well as yours.
People with alexithymia can feel love when it's strong enough. They just can't describe or express it in a way that provides others with emotional validation.
This doesn't necessarily mean they don't care about your feelings, but they might not have the emotional capability to identify and honor your needs. Since an emotionally unavailable person isn't comfortable exploring their own emotions, they might not be able to connect with other people's emotional needs, either.
What happens when you ignore an emotionally unavailable man?
One of the possible reasons why a man can turn emotionally unavailable is because of past hurts. When you ignore an emotionally unavailable man, there is a possibility that this could trigger an old trauma or hurt. Instead of him opening up or realizing, he might feel you're doing the same thing again.
What happens when you date an emotionally unavailable man?
But when you're with someone emotionally unavailable, you won't feel any of the warm fuzzy feelings around your heart. You may have some good feelings, but there's a feeling of stagnation where the good isn't growing and the love is deepening. If you notice a lack of spark and joy, don't ignore that feeling; listen in.
Of course, an emotionally unavailable person can change, but like any personal overhaul, they have to want to do it themselves. “The trick is for you not to try and change them.
Why do I chase men who are emotionally unavailable?
A need to chase after people who can't actually love tends to stem from unresolved childhood issues, or even trauma. Self-help is a good start, and there are wonderful books out there to help with things like codependency and attachment issues.
“When you meet someone who isn't emotionally available, you may notice that their communication behaviors are inconsistent, they pick and choose when they answer you or don't, wait stretches of time before they text you back, hoping to keep you on the line—and all of these are red flags.”
If he sees you opening up, he's more likely to do it too.
Try to let him into your heart and share some intimate details about your life. You could tell him a story from your childhood, let him in on a secret, or tell him one of your most embarrassing moments. Hopefully, he'll feel safe enough to open up to you, too.
Jealousy is about a lot of things, including insecurity, immaturity, and fear. Emotionally unavailable men may experience jealousy more intensely because they bottle up their feelings.
