That's why deep listening means responding, at most, by restating what we hear to confirm that we understand or by asking open-ended questions motivated solely by empathy and compassion. It means not assuming we know how someone feels, and not filtering the speaker's experience through the lens of our own experiences.
If you want to use deep listening, here are a few tips: Look people in the eyes, process what they say, don't interrupt them, ask thoughtful questions, take notes, listen to learn not to flatter, and affirm what they've told you rather than telling them your opinion.
Deep Listening
It involves paying attention to both verbal and nonverbal cues, such as the words being used, the speaker's body language, and their tone. This type of listening helps build trust and rapport, and it helps others feel comfortable in expressing their thoughts and opinions.
Deep listening involves hearing more than the words of the speaker but taps into the deeper meaning, unspoken needs, and feelings conveyed. It is something that is done with the heart as well as the mind.
“There is so much going on, it's difficult to focus on what people are saying to us,” says Kerr. Gilda Carle, a New York City-based psychotherapist, says that we have trouble listening because we focus on body language 55 per cent of the time, and on vocal intonation 38 per cent of the time.
Resentment can also impede listening skills, so check in with yourself to be sure you have honed in on your own listening skills before demanding this of your partner. Lastly, anxiety, stress, and even attention-deficit issues can cause a partner to struggle with listening skills.
Signs you are a bad listener include:
matching every story someone tells with your own, 'better' version. never allowing pauses in conversation. changing the topic abruptly if the other person is boring you. never asking questions.
Exercise – Exercise after learning has been shown to increase memory. One study suggests that the optimal time for exercise after learning is 4 hours. So, if you have just heard something really important, you may want to schedule a trip to gym or even a brisk walk.
Listening is an Act of Love is history in the richest sense of the word, the kind that makes people feel like they count. It's a celebration of the lives of the uncelebrated. In our world today people feel helpless, but once they speak of their lives they become alive!
What Effective Listening Is. Effective listening is actively absorbing the information given to you by a speaker, showing that you are listening and interested, and providing feedback to the speaker so that he or she knows the message was received.
I'm talking about listening at deeper levels.
I divide these levels into ear listening, body listening, heart listening, and soul listening. Here's how they break down.
Deep listening is more involved than full listening. Deep listening requires you and the other speaker to understand each other's sides. You must carefully pay attention to the details of a conversation and pick up on many cues.
Listening and paying attention to others when they speak is a sign of respect and a skill that will lead to deeper and better relationships. You'll also probably learn a lot more about your friends and your environment by actively listening to others.
You empathize with each other better.
You're listening to the feelings and emotions behind the words and asking questions to gain a better understanding of where your partner is coming from. These are the building blocks of empathy.
Make the other person feel supported
A conversation with a good listener makes you feel positive, supported and safe. You feel issues and differences could be discussed openly.
Being present
Keep your workspace tidy and mute your devices. Give yourself time: take a minute or two to clear your mind before you meet with someone. Practice a few relaxation techniques , such as deep breathing and muscle relaxation, before the conversation.
Understanding: Listen with the intention of interpreting what the other person is saying. Get into a place of understanding, where you're both speaking the same language, figuratively and literally. Persistence: Be willing to stay the course and not let your mind wander.
If you've ever dealt with a bad listener, you know how frustrating it can be. Making eye contact and responding to the speaker doesn't necessarily mean you're listening to what they have to say. Blinking excessively, making too much eye contact, and interrupting people are all signs you're not a great listener.
These bad listening practices include interrupting, eavesdropping, aggressive listening, narcissistic listening, defensive listening, selective listening, insensitive listening, and pseudo-listening.