Signs of intense chemistry with someone like physical attraction, eye contact, and body language are some of the more apparent indicators, but shared interests, emotional connection, and even nervousness can also suggest strong chemistry.
How to know if the chemistry between two people is genuine and not just physical attraction? You are not only physically attracted to that person but also feel emotionally connected with them. You genuinely care about them and want to know more about and spend time with them outside of the bedroom.
Chemistry is born of several different factors like physical attraction, mental stimulation, shared values and interests. The list goes on.
People who share intense chemistry signs know almost right away the feeling is mutual, but continue to flirt to keep the connection going.
Three dates is a good rule of thumb.
This isn't a hard and fast rule, but let's say you spend two to three hours together on each date, with some emailing, texting, or phone time in between. That's a pretty fair amount of time together. If you're not feeling any sense of chemistry or attachment, it's OK to give up.
An immediate spark can actually mean very little in the grand scheme of a relationship. In fact, sometimes a spark right off the bat can actually be "dangerous" or even a red flag, according to Hinge's Director of Relationship Science, Logan Ury, author of How to Not Die Alone.
It's a mutual feeling of intense attraction, a magnetic pull that draws them together, and a deep understanding of one another. It's a feeling of being completely present and connected, with a sense of familiarity that is hard to explain.
The chemistry between people can be seen in body language or subtle ways, such as eye contact, flirting, banter, constant focus, and losing track of time.
Strong chemistry between a man and woman is a feeling of intense attraction felt by both the man and woman. In many cases, these feelings are accompanied by the desire to be intimate with themselves, spend more time together, and even commit to something bigger (sometimes).
When you feel an attraction that is too intense, it often means that you are responding to the sense that you need to consume that person entirely now, because they may slip through your fingers at a moment's notice.
This feeling is what we usually call chemistry between people, or "the spark"—a twinkle in the eye, a skipped heartbeat, or flushed cheeks that indicate two people are truly connecting.
When individuals experience chemistry, they experience their interaction as something more than the sum of their separate contributions. Interpersonal chemistry requires coordination, in that the interacting individuals share and match their goals and efforts, supporting each other in the process.
Intense chemistry is never one-sided
It is guided by neurochemicals in our brain that evolutionarily helps us select the best mating partner and partners for survival.
Good chemistry between a man and a woman doesn't involve only sexual attraction. Good chemistry is also about the ability to connect on every possible level: it is about the feeling that you are understood, supported, and accepted for who you are.
Over time, the head-over-heels chemistry felt during the limerence phase may fade, but in a strong relationship, chemistry remains over time. It may not appear as intense as during the honeymoon phase, but it is possible for relationship chemistry to last for a lifetime.
The short answer
It happens sometimes that people feel the same connection you do, but it's not guaranteed. Chances are, while you're hitting it off with someone, they are having a great time, as well, but that's not always the case.
Chemistry is the emotional connection between two people. This mutual connection can take different forms and may change throughout a relationship, from the first date to the fiftieth anniversary.
Don't panic if that intense initial attraction wanes over time — it can be recharged. “Chemistry with a long-term partner can fade,” Dr. Lehmiller says.
Movies try to convince us we'll feel this way forever, but the intense romance has an expiration date for everyone. Expect the passion to last two to three years at most, says Dr.
As mentioned in the article above, signs of mutual attraction can include frequent communication, physical touch, prolonged eye contact, mirroring, blushing, and flirtatious behavior. If the attraction is mutual between you and another person, you'll likely want to talk to each other rather frequently.
“Chemistry is what we look for initially; it's surface-level—an instinctual desire that sparks relationships to begin. Compatibility, on the other hand, is the vehicle that carries the relationship through life's curveballs and increases the romantic love or bond we feel for our partners,” adds Scot.
Chemistry is a strong mutual attraction between two people that can stem from a meeting of the minds or simply being drawn to each other through intimacy that goes far beyond sex and physical attraction. A connection is based on direct interactions that are formed over time.