Attachment is not a fixed entity and can be cultivated with our kids at any age. Relationships are fluid, permeable, changeable, repairable, and can deepen in vulnerability with time, patience, and good caretaking. Parents are relieved to hear this but often have many questions how this can be done.
It can be hard to put your best parenting foot forward without the reassurance of a loving connection with your child. Sometimes you may even wonder if your efforts are worth it. But with time, patience, and concerted effort, attachment issues can be repaired..
Factors affecting attachment
abuse, maltreatment and trauma experienced by the parent or child. parental mental health difficulties. parental substance misuse. the child having multiple care placements.
Causes of attachment issues
Their caregiver responds inconsistently or is unreliable in their care. The child has multiple or changing primary caregivers or insensitive caregivers. The child experiences neglect. They experience trauma.
The exact cause of attachment disorders is not known, but research suggests that inadequate care-giving is a possible cause. The physical, emotional and social problems associated with attachment disorders may persist as the child grows older.
That said, most people will feel complete with their work after 1-2 years of weekly therapy to change your attachment style. Even after therapy, you will likely need to work to understand and adjust your behaviors in relationships throughout your lifetime.
Reactive attachment disorder is a lifelong condition. Treatment and support for the child helps them develop healthy relationships throughout their life and can improve their emotional and social wellbeing.
An attachment disorder can have a detrimental effect on a person's personal relationships and overall quality of life. However, treatment can help. Psychotherapy helps a person identify and understand thoughts and behaviors that may be negatively affecting their relationships.
Referred to as anxious ambivalent attachment in children, anxious attachment develops in early childhood. Most often, anxious attachment is due to misattuned and inconsistent parenting. Low self-esteem, strong fear of rejection or abandonment, and clinginess in relationships are common signs of this attachment style.
Attachment disorders denote two very specific and rare forms of diagnosable mental disorder identified by the ICD-10 and DSM-5. The ICD-10 terms them 'reactive' and 'disinhibited', whereas the DSM-5 terms them as being either a 'reactive' or a 'disinhibited' social engagement disorder.
Attachment trauma may occur in the form of a basic interpersonal neglect (omission trauma) or in the form of physical, mental or sexual abuse (commission trauma). In many cases, both trauma types are combined. Attachment trauma often leads to a “disoriented- disorganized” attachment.
It's common for children to develop favorites around age 2, and they may cycle from one parent to another, or prefer different parents for different activities, up through age 5. Showing a preference is one way children attempt to control their world, which might feel especially out of control right now.
Reactive attachment disorder is a problem in which a child is not able to easily form a normal or loving relationship with others. It is considered to be a result of not forming an attachment to any specific caregiver when very young.
Attachment anxiety differs from general anxiety in that it stems from the strong fear of rejection or abandonment related to relationships while general anxiety can encompass a wide range of issues. Some anxiously attached people may show anxiety in relationship-related issues, but not in other issues.
Although some children who have attachment difficulties may be misdiagnosed as having autism, others may have both autism and attachment difficulties. Modifications made to measures used in studies exploring attachment insecurity among children with autism are, however, problematic.
It is also possible a child may have both autism and attachment disorder. The social and communication difficulties experienced by those with autism can sometimes create attachment problems.