Allow the conversation to take place at a slightly slower pace. Allow the person time to respond to questions, and take time to listen and understand their response. Do not insist on making eye contact. Include breaks in the meeting, and if possible a quiet room to take 'time out'.
Strategies to consider include distraction, diversion, helping the person use calming strategies such as fiddle toys or listening to music, removing any potential triggers, and staying calm yourself.
Make and maintain eye contact. Talk about something that is outside of their interest. Understand non-literally language such as sarcasm, idioms and metaphors. Understand when people use language to hide their feelings or words in a way that doesn't make their meaning clear.
Often autistic people find it easier to express love by doing things for their partner than by saying specific words or being physically affectionate. Doing little things for your partner shows that you care about them and want them to be happy.
Some people on the autism spectrum may seek social opportunities and may initiate social interactions themselves, others may enjoy social situations and interactions when they are initiated effectively by others.
About stimming and autism
Stimming might include: hand and finger mannerisms – for example, finger-flicking and hand-flapping. unusual body movements – for example, rocking back and forth while sitting or standing. posturing – for example, holding hands or fingers out at an angle or arching the back while sitting.
Many autistic people are extroverts and gain energy from being around others. They struggle with social norms and sensory input. They have the desire to be around people. But, they may not always catch on to the subtle nuances of social interaction, and that's ok!
Although this can sometimes feel challenging, it is important to recognize three very simple factors that every person with ASD needs: safety, acceptance and a sense of competence.
Make adaptations to the environment where possible, for example lower unnatural light if too harsh. Try noise-cancelling headphones to reduce sensory overload. Use sensory tools and stimming to reduce anxiety levels, if that works for you. Try relaxation methods such as meditation, mindfulness, yoga and exercise.
Love and affection may be felt but expressed differently
They may show love, for example, through a practical act, and tidy up for you, or iron your shirt, rather than through a more neurotypical way of looking at you and telling you or using physical affection.
Individuals with autism can also have an aversion to touch. Touch can cause a lack of emotional response or may even cause emotional stress and turmoil. Touch aversion in autism can feel uncomfortable for friends and family who are unfamiliar with this common response.
Of all the stimming behaviors, hand flapping is perhaps one that is most noticeable in children with ASD. It is a type of repetitive behavior that can occur for short or long durations. Hand flapping can present itself as a stimming behavior in many ways, including: Moving fingers vigorously.
Usually, toddlers will flap their hands when they're stimulated by something and are either happy, excited, angry or anxious. In the case of autistic children, it is one of the self-stimulating or stimming behaviors that help them regulate their emotions.
For instance, autistic people tend to be particularly honest, reliable, and loyal — some of the most important traits for a long-term relationship. You may just need to be more direct when communicating than you are used to and be prepared to give your partner space when they feel overstimulated.
People with autism may jump up and down and flap their hands excitedly when they see something that interests them. This behavior is not considered typical because many people learn over time how to control these emotions and reactions.
Research suggests that autistic people are more likely to experience feelings of loneliness compared to non-autistic people. This can be due to a lack of acceptance and understanding by society, making them feel excluded.
Many autistic people experience hypersensitivity to bright lights or certain light wavelengths (e.g., LED or fluorescent lights). Certain sounds, smells, textures and tastes can also be overwhelming. This can result in sensory avoidance – trying to get away from stimuli that most people can easily tune out.
Many autistic people have intense and highly-focused interests, often from a fairly young age. These can change over time or be lifelong. It can be art, music, gardening, animals, postcodes or numbers. For many younger children it's Thomas the Tank Engine, dinosaurs or particular cartoon characters.
They may appear to be too over-friendly.
People with autism may get easily attached to people, leading them to become over-friendly. It can be difficult to understand other people's perceptions of situations, therefore what they feel is appropriate, may be considered as socially unacceptable.
Widespread stereotypes suggest that people with autism are incapable of feeling romantic love. In reality, people with autism can experience romantic love and often attach considerable value to their close relationships.