Confessing a platonic crush (or "squish") involves being honest about your deep admiration and desire for closeness, but clearly stating it's non-romantic to avoid misinterpretation, often by saying something like, "I really value our friendship and I've developed a huge platonic crush on you – I just want to be closer friends/confidants," while also suggesting shared activities that build deeper connection rather than romance, focusing on appreciating their qualities, not pursuing them romantically.
Handling a Platonic Crush
Confessing Your Feelings Indirectly
How do you know if it's a platonic crush?
Across 6 studies testing current and former romantic relationships, we found that although people think that women are the first to confess love and feel happier when they receive such confessions, it is actually men who confess love first and feel happier when receiving confessions.
But it does provide some rough guidelines as to how soon may be too soon to make long-term commitments and how long may be too long to stick with a relationship. Each of the three numbers—three, six, and nine—stands for the month that a different common stage of a relationship tends to end.
Red flags in a guy include controlling behaviors, disrespect (for you, your time, boundaries), lack of empathy or accountability, poor communication (like the silent treatment), excessive jealousy, dishonesty/manipulation (gaslighting), and any form of abuse or disrespect toward service staff, often patterns like love bombing, substance issues, or making all exes "crazy". These signs signal potential toxicity, immaturity, or a lack of respect and emotional stability, making healthy partnership difficult.
The "3-month rule" for a crush suggests waiting around 90 days to see if the initial intense infatuation (honeymoon phase) settles, revealing the person's true character, compatibility, and whether they're serious about a real relationship, making it a trial period to decide on commitment or moving on. It helps gauge consistency and emotional safety after the "spark" fades, identifying potential red flags like love-bombing or toxicity, though experts note it's a guideline, not a rigid rule, as deeper connection takes time and varies.
Squish. The platonic equivalent of a crush. A squish is an intense feeling of platonic attraction, commonly mistaken with 'just wanting to be friends with someone. ' The equivalent of a crush for other types of attraction.
The 80/20 rule in friendships (Pareto Principle) suggests that 80% of your joy and support comes from 20% of your friends, or that 80% of friendship value comes from key interactions, not every moment. It helps you identify your core supportive friends and focus energy on high-value connections, rather than spreading yourself thin, allowing you to appreciate meaningful moments and set realistic expectations, recognizing some relationships will be less fulfilling.
Going to Confession
The 2-2-2 relationship rule is a guideline for couples to keep their bond strong and fresh by scheduling regular, dedicated time together: a date night every two weeks, a weekend getaway every two months, and a week-long vacation every two years, which helps prioritize connection, break routine, and create lasting memories. It's a framework to ensure consistent quality time, even with busy schedules, to prevent boredom and strengthen partnership.
A different way of categorizing friendship is by applying “The Three C's”. There are three basic types of people with whom you interact: Constituents, Comrades, and Confidants.
So, next time you find yourself playfully bantering with a friend or giving a sincere compliment that feels just a little extra, you might just be platonic flirting!
- I care about you. - You're special to me. - You're important in my life. Describe what you love specifically instead of using the stereotypical words.
Graysexual (or gray-A/gray-ace) describes a sexual orientation on the asexual spectrum for people who experience infrequent, low-intensity, or situational sexual attraction, falling between being fully asexual (little to no attraction) and allosexual (experiencing typical sexual attraction). It's a "gray area" where attraction isn't absent but doesn't occur often or strongly enough for many to identify as sexual.
Described by Relationships Australia NSW CEO, Elisabeth Shaw as “an act of intimacy that is not romantic or sexual in nature,” platonic kissing “even on the cheek - is most often reserved for extended family or closer friends, rather than something we would bestow on anyone.”
The 3–3–3 rule means you check in with yourself at three different points: after three dates, after three weeks, and after three months. At each checkpoint, you're supposed to evaluate specific things: After 3 dates: Can you tell if there's actual mutual attraction? Like, real chemistry, not just “oh they seem nice.”
Key takeaways. There can be many different reasons why someone might fall in love quickly, including having an insecure attachment style and low self-esteem. To avoid falling in love so quickly, it may help to check for red flags, set boundaries, practice healthy attachment, and prioritize other relationships.
Statistically, crushes often last a few months.
Most of the time, the feelings just…go away, but on rare occasions, a crush is returned and develops into a relationship. Some crushes have been known to last more than a year—but usually, they fade after you get to know the person a little better.
The 777 rule in relationships is a guideline for intentionally nurturing your connection by scheduling quality time: a date every 7 days, a night away every 7 weeks, and a longer vacation every 7 months. This structure helps couples avoid disconnection, reduce stress, and build intimacy by creating regular, focused moments for communication, fun, and deeper bonding, though it's flexible and adaptable to individual needs.
Certain red flags in dating could mean the person you're interested in is a player.
If they're not asking questions about you, this is a dangerous sign. This is a huge red flag. You might be talking to someone who might be talking to 10 other people, and unless this person is interested in you, they're not going to ask you direct questions about your life because they just don't care, and that's okay.