Put some distance between you and them.
This means cutting off all contact from them. If you don't want to go to that extreme, especially if it's a family member, then try to put some space between you and them. Maybe you could unfollow them on social media or only plan to see them once or twice a year.
Toxic relationships have three main stages: idealizing, devaluing, and discarding.
This trauma can often lead to feelings of depression, anxiety, disordered eating, low self-esteem and self-harm such as cutting. Mental health and traumatic triggers are directly linked to toxic relationships and vice versa.
Demand/Withdraw and repetition compulsion are two of the most toxic patterns in relationships today. By understanding the dynamics of these patterns, you can start your own relationship on the road towards healing and wholeness.
People with toxic traits know they have them
But many people with toxic traits don't realize that their behavior impacts others. You may have toxic traits that you don't know about. Some toxic traits, like absolutism, manifest subtly.
Real love cannot happen in a toxic relationship.
Two people have to merge their lives and validate each other's decisions. As I'm sure you know, getting two people to agree on something can be incredibly difficult. When you're in a toxic relationship, realizing or accepting its toxicity isn't easy.
Leaving a toxic relationship can be very hard because of all the emotional labor and time spent trying to make the relationship work. It can feel like an internal failure, or that by leaving you are giving up on something you've invested in.
Try Not to Contact Your Old Partner to “Check In”
After enduring a toxic relationship (especially a long-term toxic relationship), it can be really tempting to want to reach out to your former partner. However, it's often best to give yourself some time alone and go completely no contact.
Usually people assume that toxic relationships are a lost cause and it is better to do without them. But that isn't always true, because every case is not the same. The prime factor that helps decide whether a toxic relationship is worth saving is if both the partners are ready to alter their ways.
A relationship can turn toxic when a caring partner becomes a negative force. Neglect and lack of communication can make it noxious, says Valentina Tudose, relationship coach at Happy Ever After, a Hong Kong-based dating agency.
If you've addressed toxic behavior with the person exhibiting it and they have taken it to heart, it's possible for toxic people to change. “Toxic people can absolutely change,” Kennedy says, “however they must see their part in the problem before they are likely to find the motivation to do so.”
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse in relationships. It happens when one person convinces their target that they're remembering things wrong or that they're misinterpreting events. The gaslighter is trying to manipulate the other person and presents their own thoughts and feelings as the truth.
On the other hand, some people with toxic traits may behave poorly because of past trauma, a dysfunctional family life, or substance use. A person's inability to process stress and grief can sometimes transform into toxicity towards others.
Going scorched earth with statements like “I'm done” or “I want a divorce” — or even “I hate you” — can do considerable damage, even if you don't mean them. Getting angry with each other is normal. But lashing out and saying extreme things in the heat of the moment is just unhealthy, Whetstone said.
Toxic people love to manipulate those around them to get what they want. This means lying, bending the truth, exaggerating, or leaving out information so that you take a certain action or have a certain opinion of them. They'll do whatever it takes, even if it means hurting people. They Abuse Substances.
The root cause of such toxic behaviors in relationships is a lack of empathy. Refusing to understand each other's feelings, demanding that your partner lives up to your expectations, and making them feel guilty for not doing so is caused by a lack of empathy.
Stonewalling is when a person in a relationship withdraws from an interaction, shuts down, and simply stops responding to their partner. Rather than confronting the issue, people who stonewall resort to evasive maneuvers.
People with mental illnesses, such as bipolar disorder, major depression, or even depressive tendencies, may be particularly susceptible to toxic relationships since they are already sensitive to negative emotions.