To disarm a manipulator, postpone your answer to give yourself time to ponder, question their intent, look disinterested by not reacting, establish boundaries and say no firmly, maintain your self-respect by not apologizing when they blame you for their problems, and apply fogging to acknowledge any mistakes and end ...
The manipulator may experience physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual distress due to a guilty conscience and shame. The manipulator may feel stress and anxiety from having to constantly “cover” themselves, for fear of being found out and exposed.
Focus on the what, why, when, and how of your own life—and give up trying to manipulate the manipulators. Let their demands go. Let them focus on fulfilling their own needs while you work on taking care of your wants and needs. Then you will be getting somewhere.
Psychologists say the root cause of manipulative behavior can often be toxic cycles of violence, narcissism, or unhealthy relationships in the manipulator's own childhood.
Fragile self-esteem is one of the biggest manipulators' weaknesses. Most of the behavior of manipulators stems from their low self-esteem and they try to make up for it through their dark tactics. Generally, a manipulator is self-conscious about his abilities as an individual and has deep-seated insecurities.
While most people engage in manipulation from time to time, a chronic pattern of manipulation can indicate an underlying mental health concern. Manipulation is particularly common with personality disorder diagnoses such as borderline personality (BPD) and narcissistic personality (NPD).
Master manipulators often possess a high level of emotional intelligence and (manufactured) empathy. Of course, they aren't actually empathetic, but they know how to access it for their own benefit. They're very good at sensing other people's emotions and exploiting them to their advantage.
Ignoring a manipulator can be fraught with complications, but it can also have a significant positive impact on your emotional health. As you distance yourself from the manipulator's toxic influence, you allow yourself the space to heal from any emotional turmoil they may have caused.
Assert Yourself.
This starts with no longer responding to their techniques the way you used to. You say “no” if you don't want to, or speak your mind even if they don't like it. Work on feeling okay with how they might respond negatively. If it's not yours, don't pick it up.
Just say, "This isn't working for me" or "It's time to say goodbye," and give a few more statements, but keep it brief. There's no point in being vindictive or accusatory. That will only make your partner more emotionally volatile. Be as calm as you can when you deliver this news.
When a narcissist realizes they can no longer control you, it is common for them to use many different manipulation tactics to try to regain control over you, such as gaslighting, baiting, intermittent reinforcement, hoovering, narcissistic rage, discarding, smear campaigns, and self-victimization.
They may be seeking pity or attention, or have other selfish motives. They might also be trying to change or wear down a partner in an effort to have their own needs met. People who use manipulative behavior in relationships sometimes come from a dysfunctional family of origin (the family they grew up in).
The silent treatment is widely regarded as a form of emotional manipulation and even psychological abuse. It is the act of ceasing to initiate or respond to communication with someone else or refusing to acknowledge them altogether.
Manipulative tendencies may derive from cluster B personality disorders such as narcissistic or antisocial personality disorder. Manipulation is also correlated with higher levels of emotional intelligence, and is a chief component of the personality construct dubbed Machiavellianism.
Typically, people do not know they are being manipulated because it is done in a way that conceals the manipulator's intention. It is using influence for a bad cause, to gain a personal advantage at the expense of someone else.
Let's recap. Manipulation isn't a formal symptom of bipolar disorder, although some people with the condition may exhibit this behavior.