Impacts on Adult Daughters If you're the daughter of a toxic mother, it's likely that you grew up feeling unsupported, unloved, and unworthy. This deep sense of inadequacy can lead to a number of problems in adulthood, including codependency, low self-esteem, and difficulty setting boundaries.
A toxic mother constantly makes negative comments or jokes about you in front of family or friends. She lacks empathy for your feelings. A toxic mother minimizes your problems and ignores or belittles your feelings, accusing you of being too sensitive. Your opinions hold no weight with her.
A daughter's need for her mother's love is a primal driving force that doesn't diminish with unavailability. Wounds may include lack of confidence and trust, difficulty setting boundaries, and being overly sensitive. Daughters of unloving mothers may unwittingly replicate the maternal bond in other relationships.
There are different types of parents and parenting styles, and most want the best for their kids. But some go over the boundaries and become toxic parents. Worse, they don't even know they're being toxic, maybe because their parents brought them up the same way.
The Mother Wound is an attachment trauma that creates a sense of confusion and devastation in the child's psyche. It instills deeply rooted beliefs that make the child feel unloved, abandoned, unworthy of care, and even fearful of expressing themselves.
Here are some of the effects of toxic parenting on you:
Children of abusive parents are more likely to suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). If you are a sensitive person, and in case, if you make mistakes that upset your parents, you can become overly self-critical and blame yourself for everything.
A toxic mother creates a negative home environment where unhealthy interactions and relationships damage a child's sense of self and their views of relationships with others. Over time, it increases the risk of poor development in the child's self-control, emotional regulation, social relations, etc1.
It's okay to let go of a toxic parent.
This is such a difficult decision, but it could be one of the most important. We humans are wired to connect, even with people who don't deserve to be connected to us. Sometimes though, the only way to stop the disease spreading is to amputate.
Letting go of toxic parents doesn't mean you have to shut them completely out of your life. In some cases, that may have to happen. In others, it's simply a matter of breaking the cycle of dysfunction. The bottom line is: You need to be the one to decide what your relationship with your parents should look like.
Neglect is also traumatic, and so is the loss of a parent, a serious childhood illness, a learning disability that left you doubting yourself, too many siblings, a detached, emotionally unavailable, or anxious parent, even your parent's own childhood trauma.
Emotionally absent or cold mothers can be unresponsive to their children's needs. They may act distracted and uninterested during interactions, or they could actively reject any attempts of the child to get close. They may continue acting this way with adult children.
What is it? You're not crazy, nothing is wrong with you, but you may have something called Parenting PTSD and many others have it as well. Parenting PTSD is when becoming a parent triggers old memories, body sensations and experiences, leaving you in a foreign pool of PTSD symptoms.
“One of the most common signs of toxic parents is emotional disbalance. They constantly overreact or create their own drama, and tend to offload their burdens on you. “They are always self-centered, they don't think about your needs or feelings.
Some of the most common signs of a toxic parent include: Controlling: They want to tell you what to do, when to do it and how to do it. Disrespectful: Toxic parents often fail to view you as an individual separate from them and often show little, if any, respect toward you.
Very simply, toxic behaviour arises out of a lack of control while abusive behaviour is all about one person taking control of the other.
Traits Of A Healthy Mother-Daughter Relationship
The mother-daughter duo recognizes and respects boundaries. They make reasonable commitments to each other and come through on them. They accept each other the way they are rather than forcing them to conform to a particular set of ideals.
Lighthouse parenting means letting your kid be a kid, with all of the mistakes, failures and successes that come with childhood. Raise your child to be a successful 35-year-old by looking beyond immediate goals and focusing on the kind of person you hope your child will become.