Narcissistic individuals particularly detest crying, because for them, crying signifies that one is supposed to feel bad or nurture the individual who is upset. Therefore, they feel that when someone is crying, it is a reminder that they cannot feel empathy; which is upsetting to them.
They can know they're hurting your feelings, but as long as it elevates their status, they may not care. Someone living with narcissism does cry. They can feel regret, remorse, and sadness. These emotions, however, don't often have roots in empathy.
7. They'll Say, “Crying Doesn't Solve Anything” A favorite saying among narcissists is, “crying doesn't solve anything!” It's a go-to sentiment because they don't know how to deal with emotions.
Narcissists love when you get angry. It fuels them. There is nothing like manufacturing a raging hot drama fest, where the narcissist gets to project all of their internal rage onto another. The ability to make you explode puffs up the narc's sick sense of grandiosity.
They Face a Setback, Disappointment, or Conflict
A narcissist can become easily enraged if a setback occurs in their life, job, or relationship. Not getting their way results in both a loss of control and a bruised ego.
For the person on the receiving end, someone experiencing a narcissistic collapse may look out of control, extremely angry, and vindictive. In some cases, it may look like someone withdrawing altogether and giving them the silent treatment.
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
“As narcissists do not have empathy, they are not able to genuinely care or love you,” explains Davey. Instead, narcissists will only have people in their lives that benefit them; they are very selfish people.
The best way to shut down a narcissist is to walk away from them. If all else fails, you can physically remove yourself from the conversation. Even if they keep talking, simply turn around and walk away. If they follow you, close the door.
Key points. Narcissists do not feel guilty about abusing their loved ones because they convince themselves that whatever they do is justified. Narcissistic defenses are designed to distort reality and protect narcissists from seeing their flaws and mistakes.
Your emotions are an inconvenience for narcissists. You can expect the narcissist to feel anger because you put them in such a situation where they have to face their emotions (or lack thereof). Your tears also put the spotlight on you, which is unacceptable for a narcissist.
Narcissists don't know they're hurting you. It doesn't even enter their minds. And, if you try to tell them how you feel, they get defensive and make you feel you're wrong again. In fact, they'll even rather “innocently” tell you: “I'm only trying to help you.”
People with narcissism tend not to like seeing other people happy. When they see you happy, the best thing you can do is to stay firm on your boundaries, focus on the present and what makes you happy, and avoid getting into arguments. They might try to hurt you to disrupt your peace and justify their actions.
According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, narcissists lack empathy. They're “unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others.” (APA, 2013) Research shows that they have structural abnormalities in brain regions associated with emotional empathy.
Narcissists hate happy people. They can't stand them, for one simple reason: because they're the complete opposite of narcissists. Happy people are always satisfied with what life has given them and know that there is nothing better than to be themselves.
Narcissists want you to feel miserable. This is part of their narcissistic projection. Because they can't truly feel love, happiness, or fulfillment, they don't want others to experience those benefits either. In a sense, they feel best when everyone around them is vulnerable, scared, or unhappy.
There's nothing a narcissist fears more than being left alone. Block their phone number, unfriend them on social media, and don't even acknowledge their presence if you're ever in the same room with one another. This won't just scare a narcissist—it will devastate them.
They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.
Empathize with Their Feelings
It is extremely soothing to Narcissists when you demonstrate that you understand and empathize with how they feel. But..do not insert anything about how the situation makes you feel, or anything about you at all unless it is an apology.
People who are impressive in some way, either in their career, hobbies and talents, their friendship circles, or family. Someone who will make the narcissist feel good about themselves, through compliments or gestures. Anyone who will reflect well on them in the eyes of other people.
Narcissists may show you love and act in loving ways, but this tends to be conditional, in that displays of love depend on what you can give them in return. For people with NPD, relationships tend to be transactional. Love is not self-serving, proud, boastful, exploitative, or envious.
It comes hand-in-hand with this that narcissists hate being criticised or called out. Which is exactly why there's one word in particular narcissistic people cannot stand: "no".
Grandiose sense of self-importance
Grandiosity is the defining characteristic of narcissism. More than just arrogance or vanity, grandiosity is an unrealistic sense of superiority. Narcissists believe they are unique or “special” and can only be understood by other special people.
Narcissists Will Eventually End Up Friendless and Unpopular, Study Confirms.