It's a common ADHD experience that I call 'involuntary ghosting' - a phenomenon that describes the disappearing act that happens when ADHDers forget to respond to texts.
A person with ADHD may experience problems in texting and other communication methods. The problems related to texting stems from some of the symptoms involved in ADHD, such as: Excessive phone usage which includes checking notifications more often than necessary.
Examples of common ADHD texting challenges:
Lack of facial expressions causes misinterpretations. Forgetting to check or reply to messages. Perfectionism; overthinking your texts, sometimes erasing them completely.
An ADHD sufferer may be unable to pay attention to anything that isn't new, which pulls attention away from the relationship as it matures. Because he's not aware that he's doing anything wrong, the ADHD partner often doesn't respond or take the necessary steps to focus on the relationship.
This is because people with ADHD often have issues with executive function. That's kind of like your brain's manager. It's responsible for sorting through the information in everyday life, like organizing your thoughts in the middle of a fast-paced conversation.
One of the best defenses against gaslighting is to educate yourself about this kind of emotional abuse. Adults with ADHD may be more vulnerable to gaslighting due to issues with self-esteem, difficulty with past relationships, and feelings of guilt and shame.
Practice Active Listening
If you notice yourself drifting off, return to what the person is saying. Be sure to nod along and respond occasionally, and don't be afraid to comment or ask questions—but don't interrupt before they've finished speaking.
For many people affected by ADHD, key symptoms like inattention, forgetfulness, and disorganization negatively affect their relationships. The partners without ADHD can misinterpret their partners' intentions, resulting in increased frustration and resentment.
Symptoms of ADHD that can cause relationship problems
If you have ADHD, you may zone out during conversations, which can make your partner feel ignored and devalued. You may also miss important details or mindlessly agree to something you don't remember later, which can be frustrating to your loved one.
Understanding The Link Between ADHD and Communication
Research from The University of Waterloo in Canada implies that people with ADHD have problems communicating and interacting. Specifically, their ability to consider the perspective of others is reduced compared to people who do not have ADHD.
The need to always be available, the obligation to be responsive and the fear of being called out is what is leading to text anxiety. This in turn makes people avoid chats, indulge in delayed responses, but again the fear of being called out is also what is leading to anxiety.
Trouble paying attention during intimacy.
Lack of focus is one of the most well-known symptoms of ADHD. So you might find your mind wandering when you're having sex, when you're cuddling, or in the middle of foreplay. If you're with a partner, they may think that you're not interested in them.
Understanding ADHD Relationships
ADHD is not the kiss of death. The condition, alone, can't make or break a romantic relationship. But, if symptoms of attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD) are not properly acknowledged, treated, and accepted, they can — and often do — create or exacerbate marital tensions.
If you have ADHD, you might find it hard to date, make friends, or parent. That's partly because good relationships require you to be aware of other people's thoughts and feelings. But ADHD can make it hard for you to pay attention or react the right way.
People with ADHD have a hard time with conversation. They might get distracted and lose track of what the other person is saying. They might ramble, and monopolize the conversation, said psychotherapist Terry Matlen, ACSW. They might interrupt.
Relationships can be difficult, and dating someone with ADHD is no different. Even if your partner is in treatment and engaged in coping strategies, they may still battle symptoms. Remember that ADHD is an ongoing condition that requires ongoing support.
Examples of trouble managing emotions
Some have trouble putting the brakes on their feelings when they're angry or stressed. Others struggle to get revved up to do something when they're feeling bored. People with ADHD might also: Be quick to get frustrated by minor annoyances.