The Root Cause
More often than not, emotional immaturity arises because of either: An inability to communicate with others, which leaves them feeling misunderstood. A lack of self-control, and an inability to control their emotions.
An emotionally immature person gets angry and disappointed easily and fails to control themselves. They often vent their anger on their partner, and this may create rifts in the relationship. Such a person avoids serious conversations and is unaware of their partner's needs.
People can grow and change. If someone you care about is emotionally immature, you may be able to help them learn to behave more like an adult. If they don't want to change, speak to a counselor about how to care for yourself while dealing with an emotionally immature person.
While emotional immaturity isn't always a sign of a mental health disorder, it has been associated with narcissistic personality disorder and emotionally abusive tendencies. That being said, it is not always the case that an emotionally immature person is either a narcissist or abusive.
Emotional immaturity can be the result of insecure attachments during early life experiences, trauma, untreated addiction or mental health problems, and/or lack of deeper introspection or work on oneself. It can manifest as self-centeredness, narcissism, and poor management of conflict.
Studies say men reach emotional maturity around 43, while 32 years of age is where most women mature.
Immature personality disorder (IPD) was a type of personality disorder diagnosis. It is characterized by lack of emotional development, low tolerance of stress and anxiety, inability to accept personal responsibility, and reliance on age-inappropriate defense mechanisms.
Individuals who are emotionally immature can be bratty, juvenile, impetuous and unthinking and lack the ability to handle their emotions and tend to react impulsively, without considering the consequences of their actions. They often make the environment toxic.
Their bodies may have “grown up”, but have arrested development often “stuck” at an earlier emotional age (Gibson, 2019). They may behave in chronically “childish” behaviors. Many emotionally immature individuals behave like children or adolescents.
Stonewalling is when a person in a relationship withdraws from an interaction, shuts down, and simply stops responding to their partner. Rather than confronting the issue, people who stonewall resort to evasive maneuvers.
People can grow and change. If someone close to you lacks emotional maturity, you might be able to teach them how to act more maturely. If they are unwilling to change, talk to a counsellor about self-care strategies for interacting with emotionally immature people.
In the context of a marriage, the feelings of neglect, being left out, and not being heard are collectively referred to as emotional abandonment. It occurs when one partner is so preoccupied with their own concerns that they are unable to notice the struggles, concerns, or problems their partner is experiencing.
Women reach maturity and tend to be ready for serious relationships at a much younger age. Women mature by age 32 on average, but they are often ready for serious relationships in their early or mid-20s.
They want someone who's also independent. They want a woman who can support herself. Such a woman is responsible and trustworthy, because she can take care of herself just fine. Most mature men want a partner in life, and not someone who they need to feed, house, and support with money.
People who lack emotional maturity often do not have good insight into themselves or their behavior. They might not believe or will refuse to see that their behavior is dysfunctional or unhealthy. An emotionally immature person may frequently complain, whine, and insist that they are being treated unfairly.
Being with or being involved with an emotionally immature person can be challenging. It can even lead the person to question their own sense of self or revert to regressive behaviours. In more complex situations, the other person in the relationship may develop mental health problems such as anxiety or depression.
Emotional delay can be caused by unmet needs at a developmental level, traumatic disruptions in a child's life, and, in the case of children with FASD or other brain injuries, the brain pathways may be unable to adequately process tasks required.
It is this lack of confidence in one's ability to cope with what they believe to be a threat is what links anxiety with emotional immaturity.
Rage: Anger, frustration, and rage can create tears in many people, including those with NPD. Criticism: The experience of receiving criticism can be so overwhelming for people with narcissistic personality disorder that many will cry. Fear: When someone with NPD is experiencing fear, it is normal to cry.
Type As can also be dangerous to narcissists
Although they can be targeted, type A people can also become a narcissist's worst nightmare. One of the most important defenses against dark personalities is having strong boundaries yourself, and type A people are usually aware they have the right to build them.
But for people with NPD, their symptoms – like being unable or unwilling to feel empathy for others and manipulating others for personal gain – make it highly unlikely that they can love others the same way as non-narcissistic people. That doesn't mean that these people don't fall in love.