You constantly try to justify yourself to others. You tend to compare yourself to others and/or feel ashamed of your imperfections. You don't stand up for your needs and/or let others walk over you. You don't take care of your body and feel guilty to indulge in pampering it.
Not being able to stand up for yourself is a toxic condition – to you and to your life. As one who has personally suffered with having a very hard time standing up for myself, I know the havoc this can wreak on our lives.
What causes people to become toxic? We're fundamentally copycats—we learn behaviors by modeling others, and sometimes we have the wrong role models. At other times, we run into a bad spate in life, get jaded, and see the world through a pessimistic lens. And so our toxic behaviors grow.
This mindset contributes to negative thought patterns and puts limits on healthy behaviors. You might have this mindset if you're always focusing on arbitrarily measuring intelligence and success, or if every flaw feels like a failure as opposed to a lesson.
If you tend to overpromise and under-deliver, you might not notice that you're being unintentionally toxic. Generally, overpromising stems from our desire to be liked or accepted (haileymagee.com, n.d.). It may be that you want to feel trustworthy in giving out these promises but end up getting the opposite effect.
If you've addressed toxic behavior with the person exhibiting it and they have taken it to heart, it's possible for toxic people to change. “Toxic people can absolutely change,” Kennedy says, “however they must see their part in the problem before they are likely to find the motivation to do so.”
Toxic self-relationship is driven primarily by negative self-talk; the stories we tell ourselves based on the fixed beliefs we gathered over the years that we are 'less than', somehow inadequate or simply not worthy of love, respect or esteem.
You don't trust yourself and your instincts. You constantly try to justify yourself to others. You tend to compare yourself to others and/or feel ashamed of your imperfections. You don't stand up for your needs and/or let others walk over you.
Controlling. One of the most dangerous traits of a toxic person is controlling behavior. They may try to restrict you from contacting your friends or family, or limit resources like transportation or access to money to restrict your ability to interact with the world around you.
There are seven toxic habits that you should quit today. Stop comparing yourself to others, letting your past impact your present and future, not taking your own advice, expecting the worst, not taking chances, not sharpening your saw, and being too hard on yourself.
The key is to let go of your own toxic thoughts about your own past and let them go. Decide to think different thoughts even about you, even about your “toxic” past. You do not have to believe it was toxic. You can believe it was perfect because you were doing the best you could with the thoughts you were believing.
Toxic femininity refers to the adherence to the gender binary in order to receive conditional value in patriarchal societies. It is a concept that restricts women to being cooperative, passive, sexually submissive, gentle, and deriving their value from physical beauty while being pleasing to men.