Feeding Off of Others' Emotional Energy
When someone is sad, the narcissist views this as an opening to manipulate or make them feel worse. Either way, a narcissist uses another person's emotional energy and emotions to redirect the attention back to themself for their own gain.
Learning how to recover from narcissistic abuse entails acknowledging your experience, setting appropriate boundaries, and taking excellent care of yourself. Reaching out for support from trusted loved ones or a therapist is also important, as they can provide much-needed comfort, validation, and guidance.
One of the most common symptoms of narcissistic abuse is chronic fatigue. This is because narcissists are often energy vampires, and they can suck the life out of their partners. If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, then you may find that you have no energy or motivation left to do anything.
Depending on how long you were in a relationship with a narcissist, the type of relationship you had with them, and the abuse you experienced, the recovery process can be extensive. Many survivors describe that it took them a year or even several years until they felt like themselves again.
Signs and symptoms of narcissistic abuse syndrome
Long-term abuse can change a victim's brain, resulting in cognitive decline and memory loss. In turn, the changes in the brain can increase the risk for chronic stress, PTSD, and symptoms of self-sabotage.
"Number one: be alone," Durvasula advises. "It's often the easiest way to off-gas the toxicity of the interaction and not have to make idle, empty conversation, but just breathe and let it go." However, if you do have to be around people, she urges you to "choose good ones" wherever possible.
You can start healing from narcissistic abuse by first acknowledging that it happened to you. Then, heal your mind through your body by partaking in self-care through enjoyable physical activity. Lastly, you can reach out to your support system or a support group for guidance and care.
Even a positive event, such as having a child, can upset the delicate balance of the relationship, especially if it requires the narcissist to be more responsible and emotionally involved. Illnesses, aging, and job losses or promotions can act as triggers for the narcissist to suddenly abandon the relationship.
Don't be a participant in their drama.
You never want to reinforce someone's bad behavior by focusing on it. The best thing you can do is to ignore them, but in a way that doesn't feel as if you're making an effort — you don't care enough to put any energy towards ignoring them. Starve them of your interest.
The damage to the amygdala of the victims of narcissistic abuse become trapped in a permanent state of fear and anxiety and react badly to environmental triggers that remind them of the violation by the narcissist. This means that victims of narcissistic abuse are constantly alert to the danger that does not exist now.
The functions of the amygdala, hippocampus, and the prefrontal cortex that are affected by emotional trauma can also be reversed. The brain is ever-changing and recovery is possible.
The four stages of the narcissistic abuse cycle are: Idealization, Devaluation, Repetition, and Discard. In this cycle, a narcissistic partner may love-bomb you, devalue your sense of self over time, repeat the pattern, and eventually, discard you and/or the relationship.
While recovery is difficult, it is possible. Taking the necessary steps toward recovery, such as by seeking professional help, recognizing the abuse that occurred, and focusing on yourself, can all help you move past the abuse.
Dissociation. Those living with narcissistic abuse syndrome may struggle with a trauma response known as dissociation. This reaction occurs when a person feels detached from their body, thoughts, or feelings.
While people with narcissism aren't devoid of emotions, their motivations may be self-focused. They can know they're hurting your feelings, but as long as it elevates their status, they may not care. Someone living with narcissism does cry. They can feel regret, remorse, and sadness.
It Is Hard to Get Over a Narcissist Because You Are Emotionally Invested In Them. Letting go of the thoughts, feelings, emotions, and needs that you have invested into the narcissist in your life is one of the most challenging parts of healing and rebuilding yourself after narcissistic abuse.