If they're being mildly sassy and starting to push some boundaries, you can say, “Don't talk to me that way, I don't like it,” and then turn around and walk away. Tell them the behavior is wrong and then disengage from them.
Calmly and clearly point out the rude behavior and tell your child that it's unacceptable. Don't wait until later to address the issue - it's much more effective to call out problems when they happen so that you can work together to correct them.
Once your child hits puberty, you can generally expect moodiness and a roller coaster of both distress and happiness. 1 "Due to hormonal changes and additional challenges, this age group shows mood swings, low self-esteem, depression, and aggression," says Dr. Gott.
Look for Underlying Issues. Defiance can stem from a number of circumstances. For some children, being defiant is a way to get attention or take control over their lives. Other children become defiant because of hormonal changes and other developmental struggles.
Control. A major reason our youth talk back and show disrespect is not having enough power and control. Even a one-year old can be heard insisting, "ME DO IT!" As kids reach the age of three and older, they need to be able to start making choices for themselves rather than just being told what to do.
3-5 years old: should go to sleep between 7:00 and 8:00 pm. 6-12 years old: should go to sleep between 7:30 and 8:30 pm. 13-18 years old: should go to sleep around 10:00 pm. Bare in mind that once puberty hits, it will be difficult for teenagers to fall asleep until around 11 pm.
Typically, what people call the “awkward stage” takes place at around ages 11-14, making middle school a tough time for most kids.
Tweens and mood swings just go together. In fact, it's perfectly normal for tweenagers to scroll through a variety of emotions, all in one day.
The best consequences are those from which the child learns something. If your son is disrespectful to his sister, a good consequence is to tell him he can't use the phone until he writes her a letter of apology. In the letter, he has to tell her what he'll do differently the next time he's in conflict with her.
Kids generally manifest this in two ways. They either (1) make sarcastic comments when they feel under pressure, or (2) they use chronic sarcasm as a way to manage their angry feelings safely. By safely, I mean it's safer to show their anger through sarcasm than it is through any other means they've learned.
Instead of allowing yourself to feel hurt or angry (which is a surefire way to get pulled into a power struggle), be clear and direct with your child. If they're being mildly sassy and starting to push some boundaries, you can say, “Don't talk to me that way, I don't like it,” and then turn around and walk away.
Schedule family time with your child.
Spending family time with your child helps them build interpersonal skills. During the tween age, your child might prefer to keep things to themselves. Giving them undivided attention during your special time might help them develop a positive attitude and know they are not alone.
Discipline and Boundaries
"A middle road approach, like with the authoritative parenting style, is generally best," recommends Dr. Sheff. This means not being too permissive or too authoritarian, but rather considering your child's viewpoint and feelings while also maintaining boundaries and structure.
Eleven-year-olds are growing their social awareness, and their worries might increase about being liked and who's “in” and who's “out.” Twelve-year-olds may be preoccupied by disturbing news and social issues more than ever with their growing social awareness.
Ten, Eleven and Twelve are preteen. 5–9 are considered kids. Teenager: 13-18 years.
The ages 11 through 14 years are often referred to as early adolescence. These years are an exciting time of many varied and rapid changes. Your child grows taller and stronger and also starts to feel and think in more mature ways. You may feel amazed as you watch your child begin to turn into an adult.
DEAR CONCERNED: It is not appropriate for parents to co-sleep with adolescent children, partly because adolescents need and deserve some privacy, as they engage in the developmentally important process of figuring out who they are and what they're about.
Yousuf said pediatricians generally recommend the following guidelines: Under 2 years old: Zero screen time, except for video chatting with family or friends. 2-5 years old: No more than one hour per day co-viewing with a parent or sibling. 5-17 years old: Generally no more than two hours per day, except for homework.
Sleep: what to expect at 5-11 years
At 5-11 years, children need 9-11 hours sleep a night. For example, if your child wakes for school at 7 am and needs approximately 10 hours sleep per night, your child should be in bed before 9 pm.
The parents even called the age of 8 the "hateful eights," which is a little harsh, but the parents noted that tantrums seem to have really intensified around the age of 8.
Disrespect from children and teens can be shown in a variety of ways - the most common being backtalk, complaining, arguing, attitude, or just plain ignoring.
Disrespectful Child Behavior Parents Should NOT Ignore
Make no mistake, when true disrespect is directed toward a specific parent or sibling and it's demeaning and rude, it has to be dealt with immediately.
To the legal system, the answer is clear: children have the requisite moral sense--the ability to tell right from wrong--by age 7 to 15, depending on which state they live in, and so can be held responsible for their actions.