That said, most people will feel complete with their work after 1-2 years of weekly therapy to change your attachment style. Even after therapy, you will likely need to work to understand and adjust your behaviors in relationships throughout your lifetime.
Healing your avoidant tendencies will be a challenge but is entirely possible. If the above has related to you, your first mission will be to develop your self-awareness. Without the acknowledgment of our patterns we can't begin to solve them. In reading this article and others like this, you are doing just that.
As with other personality disorders, psychotherapy is the main treatment for avoidant personality disorder. Psychotherapy is a type of individual counseling that focuses on changing a person's thinking (cognitive therapy) and behavior (behavioral therapy).
Can avoidant personality disorder be cured? Because AVPD is an understudied condition, it is not as well understood as other mental health disorders. Like other personality disorders, however, AVPD is currently thought to be a chronic, lifelong condition that cannot be cured.
"Disorganized attachment style is said to be the most difficult of the three insecure attachment styles to treat or change," Feuerman says. But it's important to know that your attachment style can shift over time — you can develop a secure attachment style by changing the way you act and think.
Given ample alone time to build safety, Dr. Levine explains, avoidant attachers can (and do) become more comfortable in relationships and desire more intimacy—taking care of ourselves allows us to be able to show up as more present and healthy in our relationships.
Avoidant partners behave in ways that make them feel safe, often stemming from childhood. While these behaviors are hard-wired, change and compromise are possible with time, patience, and support.
Avoidant Personality Disorder Causes and Risk Factors
Having another mental health condition like depression or anxiety. A family history of depression, anxiety, or personality disorders. Childhood abuse, trauma, or neglect. Trauma including suffering an extreme incident of ridicule or rejection in childhood.
Vulnerability is one of the biggest triggers for a dismissive-avoidant due to childhood wounds. Dismissive-avoidants value independence. Any need to rely on someone else triggers a sense of weakness. Fear of being trapped and controlled by someone else.
Some of the phrases that might feel particularly annoying to those with avoidant attachment are: “I know you better than you know yourself.” “You wouldn't say/need/do that, if you really loved me.” “Nothing is wrong, I'm fine.”
And for other attachment types who are in a relationship with an avoidant type, what it comes down to is being consistent, yet flexible and helping these individuals tame their insecurities of fear and doubt. Avoidant individuals can find love and connection, especially with a partner who understands what they need.
This response isn't to suggest that avoidant attachers don't feel the pain of a breakup – they do. They're just prone to pushing down their heartbreak and attempting to carry on with life as normal.
Love Avoidants recognize and are attracted to the Love Addict's strong fear of being left because Love Avoidants know that all they have to do to trigger their partner's fear is threaten to leave.
They're generally not loyal to stay through the tough times and are likely to leave when you need them most (until they develop enjoyment in the sense of value and purpose that caregiving can provide, avoidants are more likely to leave when there are new children or when their partner has a serious illness, for example ...
Anxious and avoidant relationships are considered unhealthy or insecure attachments. They can often lead to relationships that cause you great anxiety, distress, or emotional pain. Alternatively, you can also form attachments to objects. These attachment objects can play a role in how safe you feel.
Fearful-Avoidant, aka Disorganized Attachment
The fearful-avoidant attachment style is the rarest, and "develops when the child's caregivers — the only source of safety — become a source of fear," according to the Attachment Project, an attachment style education site.
Avoidant Attachment: less likely to fall in love and more likely to engage in casual sex. Adults with an avoidant attachment style typically have a deactivated attachment system. Avoidant individuals do not seek proximity and intimacy, avoid the display of emotions, and appear distant and cold.
Personality disorders that are susceptible to worsening with age include paranoid, schizoid, schizotypal, obsessive compulsive, borderline, histrionic, narcissistic, avoidant, and dependent, said Dr.
Because of this emotional distancing, they tend to be less empathic toward people in need (Joireman, Needham, & Cummings, 2001; Wayment, 2006). Further, avoidant people tend to respond negatively to their partner's emotions because those emotions can signal that they need more attention and intimacy.