Dutch flirting is characterized by directness, honesty, and a lack of games, valuing authenticity over flowery language, with a preference for laid-back, equal interactions like grabbing a beer or coffee. They use humor and light teasing, with clear signals of interest (eye contact, spending time together) and appreciate clear communication rather than hints, often cutting to the chase with suggestions for future dates.
The Five Stages of Interest
Dating in the country that invented 'Going Dutch'
In dutch, when you want to compliment someone and show an interest, akin to saying 'you are cute', the best thing is probable ik vind je leuk. The word leuk is the key word her, covering the culturally dutch meaning of 'cute'.
Dutchmen are loyal, independent and treat women with a high degree of equality. They're not clingy nor are they jealous. They're direct (sometimes perhaps a little too direct) and honest. They have a strong appreciation of the other cultures and are hungry to learn more about it.
The 3-3-3 dating rule is a guideline for evaluating a potential relationship at three checkpoints: 3 dates, 3 weeks, and 3 months, to gauge attraction, compatibility, and long-term potential, helping to avoid rushing or getting stuck in situationships. After 3 dates, assess mutual attraction and chemistry; after 3 weeks, check for consistent effort and communication; and by 3 months, decide if it's heading towards commitment or time to part ways amicably, focusing on clarity over attachment.
The Dutch consider it rude not to identify yourself. The Dutch will shake hands and say their last name, not "Hello." They also answer the telephone with their last name. It is considered impolite to shout a greeting. Wave if greeting someone from a distance.
The 3 kisses
The Dutch greet close friends and family with three kisses. The tradition goes like this: women kiss each other on the cheeks—first on the right, then the left, and back to the right. Men shake hands with each other and then kiss women lightly on the right, left, and right cheek.
How To Flirt With a Dutch Guy
The Dutch usually call their partner: 🌷 Lief - sweetie/darling - amor. 🌷 Liefje - sweetie/darling - amorcito. 🌷 Lieverd - sweetheart/darling - amor.
In many social situations, the Dutch greet each other with three kisses on the cheeks, alternating from right to left, and back again. This is the standard greeting among friends, family, and acquaintances. Think of it as the Dutch handshake, but with a lot more cheek-to-cheek action!
But it does provide some rough guidelines as to how soon may be too soon to make long-term commitments and how long may be too long to stick with a relationship. Each of the three numbers—three, six, and nine—stands for the month that a different common stage of a relationship tends to end.
For romantic dates, the traditional practice is that the man pays. In a business meeting, the hosting party usually pays for all – it is considered rude not to do so.
The top 10 flirting signs include sustained eye contact, coy glances, compliments, physical affection, playful banter, physical closeness, interest in hanging out, mentioning that they're single, flirty emojis in text messages, and clumsiness or nervousness.
The 7-7-7 rule for couples is a guideline for maintaining strong connection by scheduling dedicated time: a date night every 7 days, a weekend getaway (or night away) every 7 weeks, and a longer, kid-free vacation every 7 months, all designed to fight drift and routine by ensuring consistent, intentional quality time, though flexibility is key.
Flirty 20 Questions are playful prompts to get to know someone better, ranging from lighthearted ("What's your favorite emoji when flirting?") to deeper (Do you believe in love at first sight?) or spicier ("What's your biggest turn-on?") to build connection and spark attraction, focusing on first impressions, ideal dates, relationship dynamics, and physical chemistry.
The Dutch believe that it's better to be honest than to mislead someone or create high expectations. Instead, they put their cards openly on the table so that you don't have to assume anything. So, no mind-games, no drama, no fuss!
Red flags in a guy include controlling behaviors, disrespect (for you, your time, boundaries), lack of empathy or accountability, poor communication (like the silent treatment), excessive jealousy, dishonesty/manipulation (gaslighting), and any form of abuse or disrespect toward service staff, often patterns like love bombing, substance issues, or making all exes "crazy". These signs signal potential toxicity, immaturity, or a lack of respect and emotional stability, making healthy partnership difficult.
Of course, every conversation starts with a greeting. You can say “ewa,” “faka,” or “ewa faka,” to ask what's up.
Every culture has its own ways of greeting people, as do the Dutch. Three kisses on the cheek are the formal greeting, and for friends, it's usually a kiss on the cheek. Dutch don't really do hugs.
Be an open book. The Dutch value honesty. As everyone knows by now, they are a 'straight-up' kind of bunch and no Dutch man or woman appreciates anyone being fake. The more you wear your heart on your sleeve, the more Dutch people find that endearing.
5. What Does 😘 Mean? Known as the kissy face, this flirty smiley icon signifies sending a kiss to someone. You might use it as a form of gratitude, like saying "Thank you," or sending it when you want to show your affection for something.
"Kut" is the most frequently used Dutch swear word in everyday speech. Unlike its English anatomical equivalent, it's considered relatively mild in Dutch culture and can be used as an adjective, exclamation, or prefix to intensify other words. "Godverdomme" (goddammit) is another extremely common Dutch curse word.
Dutch Customs and Culture
For the Dutch, honesty is not only the best policy but also the most efficient way to build trust and avoid misunderstandings. To sugarcoat or obscure what you mean is not considered polite—it's confusing. Directness is seen as a virtue, a way of respecting the listener by telling them exactly what you think.