Controlling behaviors can also be a symptom of several personality disorders, such as histrionic p ersonality, borderline personality, and narcissistic personality. These disorders can only be diagnosed by a licensed health care professional.
You believe you are 100% responsible for your success.
Control freaks believe with enough effort and skill they can accomplish anything. They don't believe in timing or luck. They often say things like, “Failure isn't an option,” and they are overly critical of themselves when things don't go as planned.
Control freaks tend to have a psychological need to be in charge of things and people - even circumstances that cannot be controlled. The need for control, in extreme cases, stem from deeper psychological issues such as obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD), anxiety disorders or personality disorders.
Deep down, control freaks are terrified of being vulnerable; they're anxious, insecure and angry. They believe they can protect themselves by staying in control of every aspect of their lives. They're very critical of their colleagues and their friends, but underneath their criticism is a mountain of unhappiness.
Don't try to control a control freak.
Judith Orloff advises, "Be healthily assertive rather than controlling. Stay confident and refuse to play the victim. Most important, always take a consistent, targeted approach." Control freaks love a good power struggle; playing into it never ends well.
Control seekers are often obsessive-compulsive, angry (either overt or passive-aggressive), phobic, or even mood-disordered. These people need control because, without it, they fear things would spiral out of control and their lives would fall apart.
Understanding Controlling People
Insecurity — Controlling behavior is often the result of fear or insecurity on the part of the controller, despite the image of strength and confidence he or she often projects.
Summary. Controlling people attempt to assert power and control over others through manipulative tactics such as blaming, being critical, and shutting others down. They may not be aware they are exhibiting this behavior, which often stems from their own anxiety.
Subtle signs of controlling behavior:
Giving or seeking more attention than usual. Threatening you with ultimatums. Putting you down when things don't go their way. Using banter as a disguise for underlying criticism in the presence of family and friends.
Controlling, or manipulative behaviour is one of the key traits of a personality disorder called psychopathy. Thomas Erikson: Psychopaths, they are drawn to control, they are drawn to power, they are drawn to attention as a part of their narcissistic behaviour.
Increased anxiety.
Many control freaks experience constant worry. But rather than controlling their inner turmoil, they insist on trying to control the events around them. This approach backfires since they can't control everything all the time--and ultimately, they end up causing themselves to feel even more anxious.
The ESTJ – Being too Bossy
They see what needs to be fixed, what needs to be done, and they usually have no problem telling other people how to get those things done or doing it themselves.
Controlling behavior and manipulation are toxic and don't align with what open and honest communication is all about—which is necessary for a healthy relationship. If you ever feel unsafe due to someone else's behavior, trust your gut and remove yourself from the situation as quickly as possible.
Nevertheless, control freaks can and often do make very good, successful leaders. Why is that one of the best-kept secrets in the business world? Two reasons: For one thing, control freaks tend to keep pretty busy, well, controlling, running companies, bossing people around, and generating gobs of free cash flow.
“Being a control freak is a weakness, not a strength. If you can't allow others to shine, you're exhibiting signs of narcissism and showing a lack of self-confidence. It is isolation through ego.”
If someone tries to control situations or other people to an unhealthy extent, others may describe them as a controlling person. They may try to control a situation by taking charge and doing everything themselves or control others through manipulation, coercion, threats, and intimidation.
adjective. someone who is bossy keeps telling other people what to do, in a way that annoys them.
If you have a controlling partner, they'll probably always tell you what to do and criticize you for taking their advice initially and doing otherwise. While maybe it's out of care, but if they're adamant to make you do what they want, then probably all they care about is being obeyed.