The silent treatment can back fire on the narc when they have used it one too many times and push you too far, when you have finally had enough of being treated so badly that you leave. You use their deafening silence to learn about narcissism, get yourself together and decide to go.
To Maintain Control
Because of this, a narcissist will revert to any manipulation tactics they think will give them the most control over people and their situation. If you react most to the silent treatment, they will continue to use this tactic to get the reaction they want from you.
While it is completely understandable, it is a dangerous approach because it can cause people to use ineffective techniques, like the silent treatment, against the narcissist in their life. The silent treatment is one of the most ineffective techniques that you could use on the narcissist in your life.
They will get fearful and nervous as soon as you begin ignoring them. This is what happens when you ignore a narcissist. They may start to obsess around you even more by sending text messages like “I sincerely apologize” or “May we talk?” Don't mind them, and witness the effects of ignoring a narcissist.
Give the narcissist a taste of their own medicine by ignoring them. If they give you the silent treatment then don't respond back. Don't answer their calls or texts, don't check on them or care for them when they are sick, stop being nice to them if you've been doing that, etc.
Well, silence can be a powerful tool when dealing with a narcissist. If they are used to dominating the conversation, silence can make them uncomfortable. You can force them to confront their behavior and make them fear you by remaining silent.
The best way to deal with a narcissist is to ignore them. By doing this, you take away their power and control. Narcissists thrive on attention and need constant validation. If you can learn to ignore them, they will eventually get the message that you're not going to put up with their behavior and move on.
If you didn't know already, the silent treatment is when someone refuses to communicate verbally and/or electronically with someone who is willing to communicate. A narcissist's silent treatment can last for hours, days, weeks, or even months.
Silence keeps the abuse intact. One of the tactics a narcissist will use in the beginning (or really, at any time of a relationship), is the tactic to keep you silent. Abusers groom their target with the purpose to manipulate for their benefit.
Narcissists are highly sensitive to criticism or any perceived threat to their self-image, and they will go to great lengths to protect it. If you criticize them or challenge their dominance, you will trigger a defensive response.
The silent treatment might be employed by passive personality types to avoid conflict and confrontation, while strong personality types use it to punish or control. Some people may not even consciously choose it at all.
Type As can also be dangerous to narcissists
Although they can be targeted, type A people can also become a narcissist's worst nightmare. One of the most important defenses against dark personalities is having strong boundaries yourself, and type A people are usually aware they have the right to build them.
Narcissists don't like being ignored by anyone or anything. The narcissist perceives your withdrawal as a personal attack. People with narcissistic personality disorder don't understand healthy personal boundaries and won't suddenly have any respect for yours.
A narcissist uses ignoring people as a way to punish them. Especially if they feel like you are pulling away. Or, you've inflicted a narcissistic injury on them. A narcissist has a fundamentally unstable sense of self.
But if you text a narcissist about a problem you're having, to chat about someone else, or even to share important news, they will likely ignore it. If it is not critical to their expanding ego, they are simply not interested. They may even glance at the text, see it isn't about them, and just not care at all.
Narcissists don't react well to being ignored and often try to punish the person ignoring them. Ignoring a narcissist may result in them trying to get your attention through various means, including apologizing and begging for forgiveness or smearing you to others.
Narcissists hate being ignored for two big reasons.
This makes them feel both bad and angry. The second reason: narcissists are used to being the center of attention. Ignoring them makes them feel bad and angry. Narcissists often have a very inflated opinion of themselves.
Narcissists hate feeling that they might be rejected or that you might conclude that they are defective. So, they go into compensation mode by turning the tables. They want to make it clear that you are the loser, while they are the winner.
Although narcissists act superior to others and posture as beyond reproach, underneath their grandiose exteriors lurk their deepest fears: That they are flawed, illegitimate, and ordinary.
If you want to upset a narcissist, the easiest way to do it, is to start self-praising in front of them. Narcissists can't stand it when a target talks about their achievements and their talents.
Narcissists need attention and control to maintain their inflated sense of self. They crave admiration, validation, and praise. When they are met with silence, they are denied the attention they need to feel important. This can blow their fragile ego, and they may feel unimportant.