Yes, yelling can be used as a weapon, and a dangerous one at that. Research shows that verbal abuse can, in extreme situations, be as psychologically damaging as physical abuse. But yelling can also be used as a tool, one that lets parents release a little steam and, sometimes, gets kids to listen.
Yelling at children can have a variety of detrimental psychological effects, such as the development of depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and behavioral issues. Children who are yelled at may also display aggression and bullying behavior.
Research. There is a bunch of research that is done on the effects of parenting and disciplining on kids of every age, but let me just save you the trouble, and let you know that NO. You are most likely not scarring your child for life when you yell at them or lose your cool every once in a while.
What is Depleted Mother Syndrome (DMS)? In a nutshell, Depleted Mother Syndrome (DMS) occurs when demands on the mother increase, and her resources decrease. As a result of this imbalance, the mother's emotional sensitivity to both internal, and external triggers becomes heightened.
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD): Being subjected to constant yelling and verbal abuse can cause symptoms of PTSD. Symptoms can include insomnia, feeling the need to be on guard, getting easily startled and displaying self-destructive behavior.
It can make them behave badly or get physically sick. Children react to angry, stressed parents by not being able to concentrate, finding it hard to play with other children, becoming quiet and fearful or rude and aggressive, or developing sleeping problems.
After you've calmed down, apologize to your child, and talk to them in an age-appropriate way about your feelings, Dr. Hudson said. You don't have to go into the details of why you reacted the way you did, but you can say something like: “I'm sorry I yelled. I got frustrated, but it's not your fault I lost my cool.
For some children, the cumulative effect of growing up in a family with frequent harsh verbal discipline can basically rewire the brain and lead to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. P.T.S.D.
Just as your four-year-old will not remember that wonderful visit you had at Grandma's house, they also will not remember the time you were so frustrated, stressed, or sleep deprived that you screamed at them.
Yelling, bribes, and threats may be the easy choice to get kids to listen, but they listen out from fear instead of learning to obey and respect you as a parent.
Apologize and Connect with Your Kids
Get on your child's level to re-establish a connection with them, look them in the eyes, make sure you have their attention, and offer them a genuine apology. Here is a free printable copy of things to say after you yell.
Research shows that children as young as age four grasp the emotional implications of apology. They understand, for example, that an apology can improve the feelings of someone who's been upset.
Even the calmest and most patient parent is going to lose their cool with their toddler or child from time to time. While more patience is always the goal, it's a small fact of life that you're going to slip up.
What is aggressive parenting. Aggressive parenting involves using threats or punishment to control or pressure a child to obey. Parental aggression toward children can be psychological or physical. It is toxic parenting.
Though all parenting styles differ, sometimes hostile parenting involves shouting at children regularly, routine physical punishment, isolating children when they misbehave, damaging their self-esteem, or harsh discipline.
Yelling at a child is abusive when it is repeated, sustained, and intended to be harmful. Yelling at a child to say they're dumb, slow, lazy, or other things like “a mistake”, is abusive.
“Supermom Syndrome” refers to a mother's constant need to accomplish everything possible perfectly, often setting unattainable goals for herself. Tell-tale signs of Supermom Syndrome: Everything relating to the household has to be in perfect condition all the time.