Losing a parent's pain changes, rather than stops; the acute, all-consuming hurt lessens over time, evolving into a bittersweet ache, but grief remains a lifelong presence, surfacing unexpectedly with triggers, as you learn to live with the void by focusing on positive memories and finding new ways to navigate the world, with no set timeline for healing.
There is no timeline for how long grief lasts, or how you should feel after a particular time. After 12 months it may still feel as if everything happened yesterday, or it may feel like it all happened a lifetime ago. These are some of the feelings you might have when you are coping with grief longer-term.
Express your feelings in a tangible or creative way.
Even if you're not able to talk about your loss with others, it can help to write down your thoughts and feelings in a journal, for example. Or you could release your emotions by making a scrapbook or volunteering for a cause related to your loss.
How to numb the pain of grief?
Signs and symptoms of complicated grief may include: Intense sorrow, pain and rumination over the loss of your loved one. Focus on little else but your loved one's death. Extreme focus on reminders of the loved one or excessive avoidance of reminders.
With unhealthy grief, that adjustment doesn't happen. Instead, the mourner feels stuck in a cycle of longing, pain, or avoidance. Months or even years after the loss, the grief feels just as fresh as day one. Daily life, relationships, and work may all be disrupted.
In summary, some evidence suggests that antidepressants, in particular tricyclics, may be effective for reducing depressive symptoms in bereavement-related depression, even if their effect might not be as dramatic or specific for grief intensity.
There's no single hardest stage of grief; it varies for everyone, but depression is often cited as intensely difficult due to overwhelming sadness and isolation, while others find anger, bargaining (with "what if" scenarios), or the finality of acceptance most challenging, as grief isn't linear but a complex, overlapping process.
In many cultures, the number 40 carries profound symbolic meaning. It represents a period of transition, purification, and spiritual transformation. The 40-day period is often seen as a time for the departed's soul to complete its journey to the afterlife, seeking forgiveness, redemption, and peace.
The “90-second rule,” introduced by Harvard neuroscientist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, reveals that an emotional surge in the body lasts only about 90 seconds—unless we mentally keep it alive.
When grieving, don't suppress emotions, isolate yourself, rush the process, or use substances to numb pain; instead, allow yourself to feel, stay connected with supportive people, and seek professional help if needed, as grief has no timeline and everyone experiences it uniquely. Avoid platitudes like "everything happens for a reason" or "they're in a better place," and don't make major decisions too soon. Focus on self-care, even if it's basic, and accept that grief is messy, not linear.
The 3 C's of grief are Control, Connection, and Continuity - three fundamental psychological needs that become disrupted after loss and require intentional attention during the grieving process.
Some of these changes will be forever and long lasting, but some will only be part of the acute and early stages of grieving (whatever that timeline looks like for you). And some of these changes aren't necessarily all bad. Losing a loved one is just about the worst thing that can happen to any of us.
The following tips may give you some ideas about what to do in your "grief time":
See our 10 tips for things you shouldn't do after they've died:
The hardest deaths to grieve often involve a child, a spouse/life partner, or a loss due to suicide or homicide, as these challenge fundamental beliefs about life's order, shatter primary support systems, or add layers of trauma, guilt, and unanswered questions, leading to potentially complicated grief. However, grief is deeply personal, and the "hardest" loss is ultimately the one that feels most significant to the individual.
- *Hinduism*: Some Hindu texts suggest the spirit may linger near the body for up to 13 days after death. Scientific Perspective From a scientific standpoint, there's no empirical evidence to support the idea that the spirit or consciousness remains in the body after death.
Take Your Time
It's okay to leave their clothes in the closet for weeks, even months, if you're not emotionally ready. Give yourself permission to grieve first. When the time comes, consider asking a trusted family member or friend to help. Having someone there can make the task feel a little less heavy.
Here are some ideas to keep in mind:
The 7 stages of grief
After the funeral, you may feel the full intensity of your grief. You may find that other people don't check in with you as often and their lives seem to have returned to normal, but your life is forever changed. It will take time to create a “new normal” for yourself.
When grieving, don't suppress emotions, isolate yourself, rush the process, or use substances to numb pain; instead, allow yourself to feel, stay connected with supportive people, and seek professional help if needed, as grief has no timeline and everyone experiences it uniquely. Avoid platitudes like "everything happens for a reason" or "they're in a better place," and don't make major decisions too soon. Focus on self-care, even if it's basic, and accept that grief is messy, not linear.
“Participating in a grief support group can be helpful. During the first few sessions, a person may feel like they are not making progress. However, the more you can talk about your grief and pain, the more likely you will be able to manage your feelings and move forward,” Dean said.
There's little solid research on the use of psychiatric medications to treat complicated grief. However, antidepressants may be helpful in people who have clinical depression as well as complicated grief.