The development of narcissistic traits is in many cases, a consequence of neglect or excessive appraisal. In some cases, this pathological self-structure arises under childhood conditions of inadequate warmth, approval and excessive idealization, where parents do not see or accept the child as they are.
Emotional neglect along with a misplaced sense of superiority is at the core of every narcissist. At the centre of both individuals suffering with narcissism and those with CEN is often the same feelings of being alone, empty and insignificant.
Narcissism tends to emerge as a psychological defence in response to excessive levels of parental criticism, abuse or neglect in early life. Narcissistic personalities tend to be formed by emotional injury as a result of overwhelming shame, loss or deprivation during childhood.
Narcissistic personality disorder may be linked to: Environment — parent-child relationships with either too much adoration or too much criticism that don't match the child's actual experiences and achievements. Genetics — inherited characteristics, such as certain personality traits.
For children, affectional neglect may have devastating consequences, including failure to thrive, developmental delay, hyperactivity, aggression, depression, low self-esteem, running away from home, substance abuse, and a host of other emotional disorders.
In the emotionally neglectful family, the HSP learns they are overly emotional. They don't know that their emotions are personal expressions of who they are. Instead, they learn that they are different, damaged, weak, and wrong.
The most common effects of childhood neglect in adulthood include: post-traumatic stress disorder. depression. emotional unavailability.
Often, NPD will begin in the teenage years or early adulthood. Personality disorders are typically diagnosed at 18 years or older, according to Hallett.
The results are quite clear: Parents who "overvalue" children during this developmental stage, telling them they are superior to others and entitled to special treatment, are more likely to produce narcissistic children -- who can grow up to become narcissistic adults, unless something is done about it.
Forthcoming in the journal Psychological Bulletin, the study compiled 31 years of narcissism research and found that men consistently scored higher in narcissism across multiple generations and regardless of age.
What causes NPD? As with many personality disorders, the exact cause of NPD is unknown. It is probably a mixture of genes, early childhood experiences and psychological factors. Early childhood risk factors include excessive praise or judgement by parents, trauma or abuse.
The emergence and development of narcissistic traits, such as seeking excessive admiration from others, feelings of grandiosity and interpersonal competitiveness, have mostly been related to traumatic experiences in childhood [12,13,14].
Signs that a child may be a narcissist include a lack of empathy; unrealistic sense of self-importance; lack of recognition of attention and admiration; and an overall struggle in social and family relationships.
Narcissism tends to play out intergenerationally, with narcissistic parents producing either narcissistic or codependent children in turn. While a self-confident parent, or good-enough parent, can allow a child their autonomous development, the narcissistic parent may instead use the child to promote their own image.
Victims of narcissistic abuse have been reported to experience symptoms similar to PTSD, known informally as narcissistic abuse syndrome. Symptoms include intrusive, invasive, or unwanted thoughts, flashbacks, avoidance, feelings of loneliness, isolation, and feeling extremely alert.
Interestingly, they also rated themselves as having higher levels of negative aspects of narcissism, such as being power-oriented, impulsive, arrogant, and prone to exaggerate their abilities. In other words, narcissists are aware that they are narcissists.
“You knew I didn't like it, but you still did it to hurt me.” “You only think about yourself.” “You always look for attention.” “You don't deserve everything that I have done for you.”
Narcissistic parents maintain their power by triangulating, or playing favorites. They may have a golden child who they compliment excessively, for example, while speaking badly about another child in the family. This can make children feel uncomfortable, disloyal and psychologically unsafe.
Many describe their childhood as one of being a “verbal punching bag” for their brother or sister, cruelty which often remains hidden to parents as the narcissistic child endeavours to maintain the appearance of perfection to authority figures.
“People are not just born narcissists and there is nothing you can do about it,” Bushman said. “Our research shows that the way parents treat their children can predict how narcissistic their kids are.” To be clear, narcissism is not a disorder that people do or do not have.
The tragic reality is that narcissists don't (and can't) love their children in the way that ordinary people do. They will tell you that they do (and most likely they will believe that they do), but their love can only be of the transactional, conditional type, even with their children.
A child's perception of neglect is important. When a child perceives they're being neglected emotionally, they are twice as likely to develop psychiatric disorders by age 15, including the development of depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety, panic disorder, phobias, and posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
How do I know if I was emotionally neglected as a child? There are several signs such as feelings of detachment, lack of peer group, dissociative inclinations, and difficulty in being emotionally present.
Typically, emotional neglect is more difficult to assess than other types of neglect, but is thought to have more severe and long-lasting consequences than physical neglect.