Narcissists are motivated by feeling superior and expanding their power, and so the only things that matter when helping others are receiving adulation, fame, influence, opportunities, notoriety, and other resources. They dont actually care about others because to them other people are just things to use.
“As narcissists do not have empathy, they are not able to genuinely care or love you,” explains Davey. Instead, narcissists will only have people in their lives that benefit them; they are very selfish people. “They are number one in their lives.
They often care very deeply what others think of them, but otherwise may find it difficult to understand or simply do not care about their feelings. Individuals with NPD can also be antagonistic towards people due to this lack of empathy, or if someone challenges their feeling of superiority.
They can know they're hurting your feelings, but as long as it elevates their status, they may not care. Someone living with narcissism does cry. They can feel regret, remorse, and sadness. These emotions, however, don't often have roots in empathy.
Simply put, narcissists hate being ignored. They probably want to make you feel ashamed, regretful, and rattled. They want to be in control and will go to any length to keep feeling empowered. It's critical to understand that a narcissist will not leave you alone the first time you ignore them.
The most effective weapon to fend off narcissists is self-love. When you love yourself, it is more difficult for the narcissist to manipulate you and get under your skin. It will hurt them to know that you do not need them, that you are better off without them, and that you love yourself exactly as you are.
Ignoring you is one of these tactics. They want a narcissistic supply by you chasing them, asking for forgiveness, and being upset about their behavior. Your reaction to being ignored brings them pleasure. These are all forms of narcissistic supply and feeling this way is why a narcissist ignores you.
Unless they have had a lot of successful psychotherapy for their NPD, they do not feel guilt, shame, or self-doubt so long as their narcissistic defenses hold. This means that they do not think there is anything for them to regret, no matter how hurt you feel.
Narcissists can't take rejection and they see it as a personal attraction to their character. Even after long periods of the breakup, they can't accept the fact that you're moving on. Now that you're seeing someone else, your narcissistic ex would act like a predator.
They cry to gain sympathy from other people
These tears occur when someone does not know any other way to meet their needs. Narcissists may also experience depression, grief, and low moods, and nearly everyone suffers physical pain at some point in their lives, which may cause genuine tears.
Bottom Line. Narcissists can sometimes be helpful and caring. However, more often than not, they only pretend to have these qualities. Moreover, even when they act giving and helping, they are not motivated by empathy because they severely lack it, and as a result, their help is often not very productive.
A narcissist has double standards, they expect you to care for them and take care of their needs, yet they don't have the empathy to care for you or yours. They can only think about how you or others would look at their behaviour, which is why a narcissist will play the hero or the victim to those around them.
Narcissists may show you love and act in loving ways, but this tends to be conditional, in that displays of love depend on what you can give them in return. For people with NPD, relationships tend to be transactional. Love is not self-serving, proud, boastful, exploitative, or envious.
They lack a psychological trait known as Object Constancy, so they can't stay emotionally connected to someone who is not physically close. In other words, when you're out of sight, you're (mostly) out of mind. But, even when they've captured their new supply, their thoughts will land, occasionally, fleetingly, on you.
They get jealous about everything
They talk a good game, but narcissists actually have very low self-esteem. Low self-worth/confidence/esteem is at the core of a narcissism. This low sense of self naturally makes it extremely easy for them to become jealous – very jealous.
People with narcissism tend not to like seeing other people happy. When they see you happy, the best thing you can do is to stay firm on your boundaries, focus on the present and what makes you happy, and avoid getting into arguments. They might try to hurt you to disrupt your peace and justify their actions.
The best way to shut down a narcissist is to walk away from them. If all else fails, you can physically remove yourself from the conversation. Even if they keep talking, simply turn around and walk away. If they follow you, close the door.
Narcissists often form strategic relationships with people who they can control and take advantage of. However, after these relationships end, a narcissist callously 'discards' someone who is no longer interesting or helpful to them.
For a person who is narcissistic, their self-esteem is often tied to your relationship with them. When they see that you have moved on and are now dating someone else, they will feel jealous and threatened.
Essentially, the point of the silent treatment is to make the victim feel confused, stressed, guilty, ashamed, not good enough, or unstable enough so that they would do what the manipulator wants.
What is this? Most people send matter-of-fact texts occasionally (especially in moments of urgency), but narcissists often come across as chronically demanding. And of course, they expect you to drop everything you're doing and take care of their need instantly. These texts may come out of nowhere.
They want to see how much they can destroy you
Narcissists thrive on chaos, so they do not act out of jealousy, as that would imply they want your relationships, career, wealth, or health for themselves. Rather, they just don't want to see other people happy.