Yes, kissing is a very common and natural part of cuddling, often happening during or leading into cuddling sessions, as both are forms of physical intimacy that release feel-good hormones and deepen connection, whether romantic or friendly, depending on context and comfort levels.
Kissing Your Boyfriend
Once you're been cuddling for a while, or even if you haven't and just feel like kissing, the first step is to make eye contact. Locking eyes will let your boyfriend see that you want to kiss and that you're thinking about his lips.
The 90/10 kissing rule, popularized by the movie Hitch, suggests that one person leans in 90% of the way for a kiss and pauses, allowing the other person to close the remaining 10%, which signals their consent and involvement, preventing it from feeling forced and creating anticipation. This technique gives the other person control, allowing them to either lean in for the kiss or pull away, indicating their comfort level.
When we touch – cuddle, hug, or holding hands – our bodies release “feel good” hormones. These hormones include oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin. Once the hormones are released into our bodies we experience feelings of happiness, relaxation, improve mood, and lower levels of depression.
Playing with hair, massages, whispered conversations, sharing of ideas for a date night or just holding one another with limbs entwined as you both just enjoy the comfort of each other.
Physical touch such as cuddling enhances bonding and attachment, and couples who cuddle tend to be more satisfied with their relationships. One study found that physical touch from a partner before a tense situation helped decrease stress hormone levels.
Hugging and cuddling are now recognized as powerful tools for building emotional intimacy by strengthening connections between individuals. They convey feelings of love, security, and belonging, acting as a nonverbal language that can bridge emotional gaps.
The "4 8 12 hug rule," popularized by family therapist Virginia Satir, suggests humans need 4 hugs a day for survival, 8 for maintenance, and 12 for growth, emphasizing the physiological and psychological benefits of touch, like stress reduction and oxytocin release, though studies suggest hug length (around 20 seconds) matters more than just the number.
Oxytocin, often referred to as the "love hormone," is released in women in response to physical touch, emotional closeness, and relaxation. Simple gestures like hugging, kissing, cuddling, gentle eye contact, or intimate bonding can naturally boost its levels.
The Chest-to-Chest Kiss
Why you'll love it: This kiss opens the door up for some extra physical contact. Your hands will be free to roam the other's body. Plus, with your chests touching, the intimacy level gets real af.
There is nothing more intimate than a half-spoon cuddle. It involves one partner lying on their back and the other on their side. As you lay on your side, keep your arm over your partner's chest and your head cradled by the nook in their arm. Alternatively, both partners can lay on their backs.
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5: Our Own Needs, Emotions and Desires.
The highest level of intimacy, requires the greatest amount of trust in our relationship. It is only when we feel truly safe with somebody, that we become willing to share the deepest core of who we are. It's up close and personal.
When a hug lasts at least 20 seconds, it's long enough to stimulate the release of oxytocin, often called the “cuddle hormone.” Oxytocin is released in response to soothing touch and promotes feelings of connection, trust, and emotional safety.
Virginia Satir, a world-renowned family therapist, is famous for saying “We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.”
The 20-second hug rule suggests that holding someone in a hug for about 20 seconds triggers significant therapeutic benefits, primarily the release of oxytocin, the "love hormone," which reduces stress, lowers blood pressure, fosters bonding, and promotes feelings of safety and well-being, unlike shorter, fleeting hugs. This extended touch allows the nervous system to fully respond, activating pressure receptors that calm the brain, making it a simple yet powerful tool for emotional regulation and connection.
A strong and healthy relationship is built on the three C's: Communication, Compromise and Commitment. Think about how to use communication to make your partner feel needed, desired and appreciated.
The Five A's can guide healthy people into reciprocal adult relationships. Applying the principles of attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection and allowing can upgrade your participation in any relationship.
Most people can't focus on anything as close as a face at kissing distance so closing your eyes saves them from looking at a distracting blur or the strain of trying to focus. Kissing can also make us feel vulnerable or self-conscious and closing your eyes is a way of making yourself more relaxed.
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