Some therapists will tell you that without education, spouses, children, and especially colleagues of those with BPD might feel the diagnosis is a “sham” or an “excuse for bad behavior.”
Mental health struggles can often be hard to manage on your own. If you're not addressing a mental illness, you could be acting out in ways you don't recognize or like. On the other hand, if you know you're struggling and you're using it as an excuse to justify bad behavior, that's not okay, either.
Coping skills for BPD are often centered around learning to manage moments of emotional instability and/or control anger. Some techniques to help in these situations could include: Using stress-reduction techniques, like deep breathing or meditation. Engaging in light exercise, like walking or yoga.
Once upset, borderline people are often unable to think straight or calm themselves in a healthy way. They may say hurtful things or act out in dangerous or inappropriate ways.
People with BPD are often on edge. They have high distress and anger levels, so they may be easily offended. They struggle with beliefs and thoughts about themselves and others, which can cause distress in many areas of their lives. People living with BPD often have an intense fear of instability and abandonment.
For many folks with BPD, a “meltdown” will manifest as rage. For some, it might look like swinging from one intense emotion to another. For others, it might mean an instant drop into suicidal ideation. Whatever your experience is, you're not alone.
Care and Management of BPD Splitting
Remember that splitting is a symptom of borderline personality disorder - while it can be difficult not to take their words and actions personally, remember that the person is not intentionally trying to hurt you. Splitting is something that they are doing unknowingly.
The Connection Between BPD and Lying
Lying, like other signs and symptoms of the condition, tends to occur because the person with BPD is unable to regulate their feelings and impulses. It's an act borne out of pain and fear. Often, people with BPD even believe their own lies.
Expecting Others To Act Selfishly Is A Key Symptom Of Borderline Personality Disorder.
Sometimes BPD can make people do things that are often described (and misunderstood) as being “impolite.” Maybe you lash out in anger at unsuspecting loved ones when you're feeling emotionally activated.
People with BPD have high levels of distress and anger. They can easily take offence at things other people do or say. People with BPD might struggle with painful thoughts and beliefs about themselves and other people. This can cause distress in their work life, family life and social life.
The Victim
Someone with BPD may struggle to take an active role even in simple tasks or enjoyable activities without the assistance of another. In this instance, the person with BPD will seek out a persecutor or rescuer to validate their experience of victimization.
But with some individuals with BPD, you don't want to get into the habit of allowing certain things such as calls after hours, visits to your home without announcing it, borrowing your things and never returning them, driving your car and keeping it longer than they should, etc.
Trauma may help explain why someone is primed to think, feel, behave, or react in certain manners or in certain contexts. But having experienced trauma is by no means a justification for harmful behavior—and no amount of trauma exempts a traumatized person from being held accountable if and when they hurt others.
Avoid derogatory language. Terms such as psycho, crazy and junkie should not be used. In addition, avoid words like “suffering” or “victim” when discussing those who have mental health challenges.
People with ASPD may break the law or cause physical or emotional harm to the people around them. They may disregard consequences or refuse to take responsibility for their actions. ASPD is one of many personality disorders. Personality disorders affect the way someone thinks or behaves.
Persons with BPD do not choose manipulation. It mostly happens to them. The way they experience their own emotions in a given situation involving significant others pushes them to resort to manipulative activities.
Yes, those living with BPD often experience heightened emotions and fears of abandonment, but that certainly doesn't make them unlovable, let alone monstrous. A relationship with someone who lives with BPD is just like any other; it depends on many of the same factors such as trust, understanding and communication.
One of the most common ways of characterizing patients diagnosed with borderline personality disorder is that they are manipulative.
It's a technique often used by those with narcissistic and/or borderline personality disorders to deflect any responsibility from themselves. The victim of gaslighting often asks “what did I do?” and finds themselves eventually questioning and second guessing everything they do.
According to previous research, patients with borderline personality disorder (BPD) show intense reactions to perceived abandonment, a high degree of mistrust, and a distorted, negative perception of others that contribute significantly to interpersonal problems.
Relationships & Borderline Personality Disorder
“We also have intense and sudden mood changes, and we have severe difficulty regulating our emotions. Unintentionally, we tend to blame others when we make a mistake, which causes us to be manipulative and cruel to those we care about.”
What others perceive as a simple mistake to be brushed off, people with BPD might perceive as a serious wrongdoing. You might hold onto a grudge for days, or until the person has apologized sufficiently.
No. Borderline Personality Disorder and cheating are not connected, though certain symptoms of BPD could drive someone to cheat. That said, if you and your partner are willing to work through the challenges of BPD and go to therapy, then there is no reason your relationship can't succeed.
It is often the case that a person with borderline personality disorder displays intense emotions, sometimes "flying off the handle." After such a display, they have difficulty regulating themselves. Once they have regained their equilibrium, they do often feel guilt or remorse about their behavior.