Intense emotions and hyperfocus Kids with ADHD often feel emotions more deeply than other kids do, and love is no exception. When teens with ADHD fall in love, the good — and bad — feelings that come with it can be even more intense and more disruptive. New relationships or crushes are exciting and (mostly) enjoyable.
While all kinds of people can fall in love, the experience of people with ADHD falling in love can be more intense for them. This is because the person with ADHD can hyperfocus on the person they are in love with.
The different symptoms of ADHD can make it harder to maintain a love life. For instance, being forgetful can be a cause of conflict if you forget important details about your partner. Being impulsive can also lead to wrong decisions that might result in arguments.
Understanding ADHD Relationships
The condition, alone, can't make or break a romantic relationship. But, if symptoms of attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD) are not properly acknowledged, treated, and accepted, they can — and often do — create or exacerbate marital tensions.
You get bored of romantic relationships and friendships easily. The ADHD brain does not tolerate boredom well. ADHD and relationships can mean that once you move past the exciting romantic stage into the steady phase, you might find yourself chomping at the bit. Or, worse, sabotaging all and breaking up.
It's not an exaggeration to say that ADHD worsens and prolongs the pain of a breakup, even leading to depression and low self-esteem. Getting over a breakup is way more difficult for us than it is for most neurotypical people.
Many people with ADHD have difficulty focusing. A person may quickly lose sight of how frequently he pays attention to his partner and the things that matters to the partner. In turn, this can cause the new partner to feel uncared for or ignored. ADHD impacts a person's ability to focus, or remember commitments.
The attentional and emotional self-regulation challenges that can exist for partners with ADHD can interfere with experiential intimacy in several ways. First, the partner with ADHD may be distracted within the experience, missing the moment together.
In one study, researchers found that people with self-reported ADHD symptoms earned lower scores for affective empathy compared to other participants. However, they were still within the range of what's considered typical for empathy levels overall.
Toxic relationships hound many people with ADHD, whose persistent symptoms and battered self-esteem make them especially susceptible to “love bombing,” “trauma bonding,” and other romantic red flags. Here, learn how to spot signs of an unhealthy relationship.
For patients diagnosed with adult ADHD there tends to be a “honeymoon period”, where they are really happy with treatment. They are excited and like 'wow I feel great' / 'this is so much better'.
Examples of common ADHD texting challenges:
Forgetting to check or reply to messages. Perfectionism; overthinking your texts, sometimes erasing them completely. Misinterpreting tone of voice (sarcasm, joking, etc.) General social anxiety.
“Opposites Attract”: People with ADHD are attracted to “organized” and joyless workers bees who can keep the trains running for the both of them and who in turn are drawn to their free-spirited ADHD partner's spontaneity and sense of fun.
As daydreaming is often regarded as inattention, it's commonly associated with ADHD, but excessive daydreaming is also a sign of a condition called maladaptive daydreaming. This too is highly common for students with ADHD.
Emotional detachment, or the act of being disconnected or disengaged from the feelings of others, is a symptom of ADHD.
People with ADHD can be hypersensitive and overwhelmed by everything that's going in a room. Or, they can seem very cold, very insensitive, or blissfully unaware of the feelings of others. When they disengage — whether due to lack of focus or because they're overwhelmed — they can seem callous or narcissistic.
Yes. Research indicates that ADHD and NPD can co-occur and often do. Longitudinal research also indicates that childhood ADHD may increase the chance of someone developing a personality disorder, including NPD.
Equally true (though less recognized) is the fact that partners with ADHD are among the most loyal, generous, engaged, and genuinely fun people you could meet. And after a lifetime of criticism for their ADHD faults, they need for their partners to recognize these good qualities — and vice versa, for that matter.
Adults with ADHD are good with people, creative, flexible, and calm in a crisis, all of which can be beneficial in any relationship. Adults with ADHD can be very engaged as they can hyperfocus on areas of interest, Roberts explains. “This can make the start of a relationship a whirlwind.
However, it can also lead to potential misinterpretation of symptoms. Take, for example, ADHD. While most people associate ADHD with hyperactivity and impulsivity, it can also manifest in more subtle ways, such as through intrusive thoughts and overthinking.
ADHD brains do not adapt as easily; they have their own rules of engagement. They are motivated by their search for optimal stimulation, rather than by what others label as important. Their degree of arousal differs based on whether the request for attention comes from an internal desire or an external demand.
The roots of hyperfocus in ADHD relationships are complex, but the end result is often clear: While some partners may feel smothered, many get swept away by the over-the-top adoration. Then, when the obsessive love fades — or, more commonly, ends abruptly — the other partner feels abandoned and keenly bereft.
ADHD often translates to big emotions. When a crush isn't returned or a relationship ends, kids with ADHD often experience it more intensely. This is true even if they're the one who ended it. Feelings of loss, sadness, and hurt can become overwhelming.