Sometimes known as “energy vampires,” negative people can wreak havoc on your life if you don't have effective strategies to deal with them. These people may show poor boundaries, be chronic complainers, or be unable to accept responsibility.
Truly toxic people have a way of making you feel drained and diminished. You have less physical and mental energy after spending time with them, not more. They also have a profound effect on your sense of self. They often leave you feeling low, demoralized, unconfident, unsteady, or unappreciated.
There are plenty of reasons why people develop energy-draining behaviors, such as mental health conditions, certain attachment types, and past trauma. Some people — including empaths — are more susceptible to being emotionally drained than others.
They always ask for more from you than you can give.
The classic sign of an emotionally draining personality is someone who constantly demands your attention and energy but never gives anything back. They may expect you to do favors for them or give emotional support without ever returning the favor.
You worry about their issues more than you do about your own well-being. Your positive feelings for them are starting to disappear. You can't be yourself around them, or you censor your thoughts and feelings. You don't get a chance to ask for their advice or support.
Spending time with negative people can be the fastest way to ruin a good mood. Their pessimistic outlooks and gloomy attitude can decrease our motivation and change the way we feel. But allowing a negative person to dictate your emotions gives them too much power in your life.
Social exhaustion can also be called introvert burnout or introvert hangover. Although it's not a medical diagnosis, it is a valid experience that introverts and extroverts can face. It can be an emotional and physical response to social overstimulation that leaves you feeling drained and exhausted.
It's natural to feel more pessimistic when things aren't going so well in our lives. Regular or even constant negative thinking can also be a sign of anxiety, depression, stress or low self-esteem. This sounds a bit strange, but negativity can also be contagious.
Toxic negativity is about someone projecting their inner pain, even though they might strongly deny that. There's no need to walk on eggshells around them, because that means that – at some level – you're taking personal responsibility for their pain and emotions.
Don't give it! Instead, be direct and say something like, “I'm not OK just reassuring you over and over because it drains me and doesn't help you or you wouldn't keep asking.”
People with toxic traits know they have them
It's natural to assume someone's bad behavior is a conscious choice. But many people with toxic traits don't realize that their behavior impacts others. You may have toxic traits that you don't know about. Some toxic traits, like absolutism, manifest subtly.
Toxic relationships generally follow three stages: idealizing, devaluing, and discarding. Learn about each of these stages and the impact it has on you.
Compliment. Without reinforcing the negative behavior, compliment the person on how well they handled the situation. Say something like, "Wow, I'm impressed that you were able to solve the situation before it got out of hand." That can turn the conversation to a more positive one.
Pessimistic describes the state of mind of someone who always expects the worst. A pessimistic attitude isn't very hopeful, shows little optimism, and can be a downer for everyone else. To be pessimistic means you believe evil outweighs the good and that bad things are more likely to happen.
Focusing on the negativity in life makes you feel depressed. When you're listening to a negative person rambling on and on about the horrors of their life, you're essentially focusing on it. You'll catch yourself starting to think like them, causing you to feel depressed about the horrors of your life.
No matter who it is, if your relationship is harming your mental health, the best decision you can make is to cut them out of your life. Toxic people can make you feel consumed by a negative outlook on yourself or isolate you from people who truly are good for you.
Energy vampires are friends, family members or coworkers who literally zap your emotional energy. Here's how to avoid getting sucked dry. Energy vampires most often target those who are sensitive and compassionate — and likely to lend a listening ear.
When the demands on a person exceed their personal resources and their perceived ability to cope, it can result in feeling emotionally drained. Ways to recover from feeling emotionally drained include exercise, a healthy diet, and seeking professional help.