A narcissist's birthday, Durvasula explains, will frequently be a no-win situation. If you remember to wish them a happy birthday, they may downplay it and pretend not to care about such frivolous things.
Even when there's no apparent reason for it, the narcissist can cause drama or conflict on your birthdays just to be the center of attention. They may accuse you of flirting with someone else, not liking their gift, or saying something wrong. They can find a way to play the victim.
Narcissists love to break you down
The whole tactic of not wishing someone happy birthday maintains the control in their court. It makes you feel unhappy and low. And even though you've been given all the attention from others on your special day, you've been broken down by this person forgetting you.
Psychological abusers also like to hoover around their own birthdays, especially if they are narcissistic and think the world revolves around them (think developmental age of a 5 year old).
Narcissists need a consistent amount of validation, admiration, and reassurance to keep their grandiose self-perception intact and their negative emotions suppressed. They “forget” birthdays because the celebration of others takes away too much attention from their fragile sense of self.
Narcissists have a tendency to practice seasonal devalue and discard during the holidays, focusing these abuse tactics on their nearest targets and closest partners. Why do they do this? Because they have no empathy and cannot handle intimate relationships and are compelled to do what it takes to destroy them.
They ignore you because they want to control you. One of the main reasons why a narcissist ignores you is that they want to control you. More likely, they want to regain control of you. A narcissist uses ignoring people as a way to punish them.
Narcissists are frightened, fragile people.
Rejection, humiliation, and even the tiniest of defeats can shake them to their core. This leaves narcissists wholly focused on their image.
They Face a Setback, Disappointment, or Conflict
A narcissist can become easily enraged if a setback occurs in their life, job, or relationship. Not getting their way results in both a loss of control and a bruised ego.
The truth is that nothing can make a narcissist happy, because their agenda of dominance, exploitation and oppression creates an ever-expanding chasm within their soul. The narcissist can take pleasure in the exercise of power and the subjugation of others, but they can't feel happiness from any source.
This is likely because they want to stand out and do what they can to gain higher status and make others unhappy. Your happiness also threatens the person's domination over your life. They realize that they aren't controlling your emotions anymore, which can be hard for them to accept.
Narcissists hate happy people. They can't stand them, for one simple reason: because they're the complete opposite of narcissists. Happy people are always satisfied with what life has given them and know that there is nothing better than to be themselves.
According to Thomaes & Brummelman, the development of narcissism begins at around the ages of 7 or 8. This is the time when children begin to evaluate themselves according to how they perceive others.
In fact, narcissists are often attracted to strong, confident, and self-assured women. While this may seem counterintuitive, it is important to realize that the narcissistic traits of grandiosity and confidence are really a mask for deep insecurity.
Type As can also be dangerous to narcissists
Although they can be targeted, type A people can also become a narcissist's worst nightmare. One of the most important defenses against dark personalities is having strong boundaries yourself, and type A people are usually aware they have the right to build them.
For the person on the receiving end, someone experiencing a narcissistic collapse may look out of control, extremely angry, and vindictive. In some cases, it may look like someone withdrawing altogether and giving them the silent treatment.
Narcissists are hurt by challenges or threats to their superior and grandiose self-image (also known as narcissistic injury). Their sense of entitlement and lack of empathy means they will attempt to destroy the culprit by any means necessary.
Narcissists Will Eventually End Up Friendless and Unpopular, Study Confirms.
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
Narcissists love using heightened, emotional language when text messaging with others. It's a way they can hook you into their drama and keep you responding to them. You may notice that they often send these texts after moments of disconnection (like after an argument or after you two have spent some time apart).
In addition to deflecting blame, they will devalue you and make you wish you had never confronted them. Devaluing is a huge part of the narcissistic relationship. When it comes to devaluing you, catching them in a lie will be no different than dealing with any other conflict.
They want to see how much they can destroy you
Narcissists thrive on chaos, so they do not act out of jealousy, as that would imply they want your relationships, career, wealth, or health for themselves. Rather, they just don't want to see other people happy.