The reality is that most people with narcissistic personality disorder have a perfectly adequate memory. It is just highly selective and focused on what they want to be true.
Narcissists prioritize the memories that are important to them. Because they lack emotional empathy, memories about how you feel are much less important to them than whatever is on their mind right now. For example, twenty minutes ago you came home from work exhausted.
The narcissist and psychopath do not remember their previous tales because they are not invested with the emotions and cognitions that are integral parts of real memories.
Together, past research has focused on narcissists' ability to remember self-relevant information and reason about the mental state of others. Narcissists tend to be selective about what they remember or have worse memory compared to non-narcissists.
Why do narcissists often forget the little details you tell them? They “seem” to forget because they are only listening for something they can use. If it's a detail they don't need or aren't interested in, they dismiss it and they really don't care that you know that.
It is common for people with a narcissistic personality disorder to regret discarding or losing someone, but it does not mean what you might think. If they feel regret, it is not because they hurt you. It is for losing something that they value.
In refusing to acknowledge that they have made a mistake, narcissists fail to learn from those mistakes, a recent study from Oregon State University – Cascades found.
First, just as the authors had projected prior to the experiment, grandiose narcissists reliably ranked themselves as being more intelligent than others, even though this did not translate to higher marks on the intellect exams.
Cerebral narcissists, also known as intellectual narcissists, are individuals who try to fulfill their narcissistic supply through their perceived intelligence. While intellectual narcissists are generally smart, they may present as if they are more educated than they really are.
Constantly berated, blamed, excluded, and ignored, the devalued or “bad object” is the narcissist's scapegoat for anything and everything that goes wrong in his or her life. Typically, many people in a narcissist's inner circle began as idealized objects. Wooing them is how the narcissist “reels” them in.
They lack a psychological trait known as Object Constancy, so they can't stay emotionally connected to someone who is not physically close. In other words, when you're out of sight, you're (mostly) out of mind. But, even when they've captured their new supply, their thoughts will land, occasionally, fleetingly, on you.
They're often introverted, sensitive, and prone to experiencing anxiety and shame. They may also struggle to maintain close friendships as they focus heavily on themselves, require attention, and are hyper-sensitive to perceived criticism.
At the end of a relationship, narcissists may become combative, passive-aggressive, hostile, and even more controlling. People with NPD often fail to understand other people's needs and values. They are hyper focused on their egos, but do not account for how their actions affect others.
They demand respect, and give none in return. For a narcissist, their needs must always be put first, and they will never reciprocate those feelings for anyone else. The world revolves around them, and everyone who happens to be part of that world should go along with it.
Narcissists are motivated by feeling superior and expanding their power, and so the only things that matter when helping others are receiving adulation, fame, influence, opportunities, notoriety, and other resources. They dont actually care about others because to them other people are just things to use.
He doesn't want you to know you are lovable and have power in the relationship. Your narcissist wants you to feel small, unlovable, powerless, and without value. This is how he controls you.
Narcissists believe they are unique or “special” and can only be understood by other special people. What's more, they are too good for anything average or ordinary. They only want to associate and be associated with other high-status people, places, and things.
“As narcissists do not have empathy, they are not able to genuinely care or love you,” explains Davey. Instead, narcissists will only have people in their lives that benefit them; they are very selfish people. “They are number one in their lives.
Self-Centeredness: People with low emotional intelligence can also seem to be narcissistic. They'll often talk too much or take over conversations; they get defensive and angry when confronted or given feedback, are often tone-deaf to what's truly going on around them and generally have to always be right.
“Grandiose narcissism appears to correlate positively with healthy self-esteem and extroversion,” Papageorgiou says. These types of narcissists tend to be very confident, which is a good thing. (A vulnerable narcissist, on the other hand, might be overly sensitive.)
People with type A personalities attract narcissists, but a relationship between the two is a recipe for disaster.
While narcissists perceive themselves to be above average intelligence and strong critical thinkers, they are unable to use reflective thinking skills effectively. The high levels of confidence they have in their intellectual abilities are often misplaced.
While people with narcissism aren't devoid of emotions, their motivations may be self-focused. They can know they're hurting your feelings, but as long as it elevates their status, they may not care. Someone living with narcissism does cry. They can feel regret, remorse, and sadness.
Studies show that the tendency to make cruel remarks is a personality trait of narcissists, because they: See themselves as superior and more important than everyone else, and therefore more deserving.