They play favorites. They may have a golden child who they compliment excessively, for example, while speaking badly about another child in the family.
However, within the narcissistic family structure, there is typically one child whom the narcissist family member (usually a parent) favors, as they see that child as the embodiment of all of the virtues that they believe themselves to hold.
Golden children are usually raised by narcissistic parents who are controlling and authoritarian. They coerce their child into being “perfect” by creating a toxic environment where the children do not feel safe voicing their own opinions or going against any rules.
Growing up with a narcissistic parent can be difficult. The children of a narcissist are often children who grow up to be codependent, people-pleasers, and have low self-esteem. They may never feel good enough for their parents or themselves.
But children who were extremely melodramatic, and who also had parents that ignored or neglected them, spoiled them constantly, or insisted on perfection, were more likely to become narcissists in adulthood.
However, some studies have also pointed out that narcissistic characteristics may not only arise from childhood environments characterized by neglect/abuse, but also from environments in which a child is sheltered or overly praised [11,14,15].
Often, NPD will begin in the teenage years or early adulthood. Personality disorders are typically diagnosed at 18 years or older, according to Hallett.
Children who grow up with a narcissistic parent tend to suffer from at least some of the following as children and as adults: anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, self-doubt, self-blame, indecision, people-pleasing tendencies, difficulties with emotional intimacy, and codependent relationships.
In the dysfunctional narcissistic family system, the golden child is the most likely to develop a narcissistic personality. Sibling abuse by a favored narcissistic brother usually follows a predictable pattern of behavior. There are strategies that can help protect you from a narcissistic brother's abuse.
Narcissists Will Eventually End Up Friendless and Unpopular, Study Confirms.
The tragic reality is that narcissists don't (and can't) love their children in the way that ordinary people do. They will tell you that they do (and most likely they will believe that they do), but their love can only be of the transactional, conditional type, even with their children.
Recent studies confirm that narcissistic parents are incapable of truly loving others, even their own children.
A narcissistic parent will often try to control their children with threats and emotional abuse. Narcissistic parenting adversely affects the psychological development of children, affecting their reasoning and their emotional, ethical, and societal behaviors and attitudes.
The scapegoat is someone who must embody what the narcissistic parent cannot stand in themselves. By “finding” what they hate in themselves to be in the scapegoat child, the parent feels protected; this is the role of the scapegoat child.
If they have more than one child, they tend to pit them against each other. One child is usually the favoured child, while another is the scapegoat. Narcissists often emotionally reject a child that reminds them of their own insecurities and flaws.
The Golden Child is trained to not support the Scapegoat, and to treat as less than, to neglect and to be unaware of their needs, just like the narcissist.
Result: All of the narcissistic personality traits, except one (“Is interpersonally exploitative “) were significantly more prevalent among first-born children (p<0.05).
Does Narcissism Run in Families? Whatever role genes play in narcissism, NPD definitely can run in families. That's because parents with NPD themselves are liable to create the exact conditions that put their children at risk of developing the disorder.
For many narcissists, siblings are a vital component of narcissistic supply, often due to your position of vulnerability and powerlessness as a child, and you become the target of your brother or sister's desperate and insatiable search for psychological cohesion and consolidation of their disordered beliefs.
At the end of a relationship, narcissists may become combative, passive-aggressive, hostile, and even more controlling. People with NPD often fail to understand other people's needs and values. They are hyper focused on their egos, but do not account for how their actions affect others.
Children of narcissists who are habitually ignored learn to ignore their own needs as adults as they cater to others and walk on eggshells. These people-pleasing tendencies tend to carry on in adulthood.
On the one hand, some narcissists may genuinely care for and love their mothers. On the other hand, they may view their mothers as a source of support and comfort and feel a deep affection towards them. However, it is also true that many narcissists struggle to form close, loving relationships with others.
According to Thomaes & Brummelman, the development of narcissism begins at around the ages of 7 or 8. This is the time when children begin to evaluate themselves according to how they perceive others.
Need for Admiration
One of the most common signs of a narcissist is a constant need for praise or admiration. People with this behavior need to feel validation from others and often brag or exaggerate their accomplishments for recognition. They also like to feel appreciated to boost their ego.