Typically, people do not know they are being manipulated because it is done in a way that conceals the manipulator's intention. It is using influence for a bad cause, to gain a personal advantage at the expense of someone else.
According to therapist and relationship expert Ken Page, LCSW, everyone can be manipulative from time to time, sometimes without even realizing it. "We are all human, and all of us manipulate because it's a human defense mechanism," he says.
"If you have voiced a concern but still feel frustrated, anxious, and pacified, you [may] have been emotionally manipulated," says Porche. "If you feel one way and someone is trying to convince you to feel another way, you are [likely] being emotionally manipulated.
In fact, most of us have learned behavior that can be classified as manipulative. It's part of human nature to want things our way and to try to get what we want. When we are manipulative, it can be very harmful to our relationships.
Denial: Manipulators may deny that they have done anything wrong when they are confronted. Rationalization: They will attempt to justify or explain their behavior. Minimization: This is a subtle blend of denial and rationalization. Manipulators often play down others' concerns about their behavior or actions.
Sometimes, people may manipulate others unconsciously, without being fully aware of what they're doing, while others may actively work on strengthening their manipulation tactics. Some signs of manipulation include: Passive-aggressive behavior.
The manipulator may feel stress and anxiety from having to constantly “cover” themselves, for fear of being found out and exposed. The manipulator may experience quiet but persistent moral crises and ethical conflicts, and may have a difficult time living with themselves.
Psychologists say the root cause of manipulative behavior can often be toxic cycles of violence, narcissism, or unhealthy relationships in the manipulator's own childhood. Manipulation can happen in any relational context, Balestrieri says, including family, friends, professional, romantic, or sexual relationships.
Emotional manipulation can feel like a person is playing mind games, because it can cause: A person to question what is happening in their relationship and environment. Fear and doubt. Degrading trust in self and others.
People manipulate others to get what they want. This type of behavior may have a number of causes including interpersonal dynamics, personality characteristics, a dysfunctional upbringing, attachment issues, or certain mental health conditions.
The silent treatment is widely regarded as a form of emotional manipulation and even psychological abuse. It is the act of ceasing to initiate or respond to communication with someone else or refusing to acknowledge them altogether.
Borderline Personality Disorder.
Characterized by a fragile, fluctuating self-image and a profound fear of abandonment, borderlines can be master manipulators. Their controlling behaviors may range from subtle and ingratiating to threatening and violent.
They have no ability to love, empathy, guilt, remorse, or conscience. To them, life is merely a game of taking power and control and getting what they want. They see vulnerability as a weakness and staying invulnerable is a great way to hide who they really are.
There is nothing worse than trying to live or get along with a manipulative person. Everything has to go their way or you suffer the consequences. The moment you put a stop to people taking advantage of you and disrespecting you is when they define you as difficult, selfish and crazy. Manipulators hate boundaries.
In some cases, ignoring a manipulator may cause them to lose interest in their target. Since manipulators typically seek control and validation, a lack of response might make them feel insignificant and prompt them to move on to someone more susceptible to their tactics.
Do emotional manipulators have feelings for you? Usually not. The kind of behavior that's passive-aggressive is generally geared at mistreating and controlling someone. Emotional manipulators tend to have various goals but they are usually centered on receiving whatever they want and controlling others.
Feigning innocence: Manipulator tries to suggest that any harm done was unintentional or that they did not do something that they were accused of. Manipulator may put on a look of surprise or indignation. This tactic makes the victim question their own judgment and possibly their own sanity.
Manipulators often play the victim role ("woe is me") by portraying themselves as victims of circumstances or someone else's behavior in order to gain pity or sympathy or to evoke compassion and thereby get something from someone.
ENFJ. ENFJs take the crown for the most manipulative personality type. ENFJs have high emotional intelligence and strong intuition. These combined make them very good at reading people and understanding their needs.
Histrionic Personality
A pervasive pattern of excessive emotional display and attention-seeking. Individuals with this personality are excessively dramatic and are often viewed by the public as the “Queen of drama” type of individual. They are often sexually seductive and highly manipulative in relationships.