INFJs may find it challenging to communicate with the representatives of sensing/thinking types (ST), including ESTJ, ISTJ, ESTP, and ISTP. INFJs should strive to confine their communication with ST people to facts and their direct logical implications.
In fact, INFJ personalities are talkative and bubbly, but only around people they trust and know well. In large and unknown social settings, they rarely take the lead and expect others to keep their end of the conversation.
In my experience as an MBTI® practitioner, one of the most common struggles I hear from INFJs is the struggle of being misunderstood. INFJs feel misunderstood in their external environment and even by themselves.
INFJs are sensitive souls who are easily overwhelmed, but they have their limits. If they feel stressed by their environment, or the people in it, they'll tend to cry or become very quiet and want to be alone. Some INFJs will be cold, sarcastic and very blunt or speak to someone only on a very superficial level.
INFJs are enigmas to other types, and sometimes the way they think, speak, or function can look outwardly awkward. Most of these behaviors are easy to explain when they're analyzed. So if you or someone you know is an INFJ, remember not to dismiss these habits as awkward, but as evidence of how you tick.
Crowds, noise, frequent interruptions - INFJs need their personal space and may experience great anxiety if they have too much contact with people in one day. Faced with such provocations, there's a risk that you will spread yourself so thin responding to other people's problems that you neglect your own needs.
In some cases, you can't avoid people or completely ignore them. In times like that, an INFJ may talk to the person, but they'll be emotionless, distant and cold. Even the nicest people can't stand everything. Dealing with such a contradicting personality may be exhausting and maddening.
However, time and time again, INFJs have told me that they get uncomfortably awkward around their crushes. They giggle more, trip over things more, and make self-deprecating jokes to try to ease the tension.
Because INFJs are so naturally aware of harmony levels and emotional needs, they are irritated by people who seem tactless, rude, mean-spirited, troll-ish, or unnecessarily disruptive. In situations where someone is corrupting the emotional atmosphere for their own selfish gains, an INFJ can become severely angered.
INFJs may seem shy at first, but they usually have a lot going on beneath the surface. They tend to follow their hunches to determine what to do next. However, they'll usually share their vision for the future only with the people they're closest to.
They tend to dislike last-minute changes and repeated mistakes, which they see as thoughtless or uncaring. At work, INFJs may find it difficult to keep their personal feelings out of their interactions with others. They'll likely become stressed if they feel unappreciated, dismissed, or ignored.
Because INFJs require commitment early on, many people shy away from dating INFJs. While this trait can make it difficult for INFJs to start a romantic relationship, it also serves them by weeding out potential partners who are afraid of commitment.
Do's: When speaking with an INFJ, focus on your vision or goal for the future. INFJs are big-picture people and they will want to know how your message fits into a larger personal or global plan. Ask for their ideas, their insight into people, or creative solutions and possibilities.
Awkward Small Talk
But just because we understand why people do small talk doesn't mean we like it. Trying to fill awkward silences and come up with small talk-level things to say is something most INFJs (and indeed most introverts) hate.
INFP is the type most commonly mistaken for INFJ, and they use Ne as their co-pilot process. If Signs 1 and 5 are both sound true for you there's a very good chance you're an INFP. ENFPs lead with Ne and have Fi as their co-pilot.
For the INFJ, stress can start out by making us more true-to-type. A stressed INFJ might disappear from the world for a while and ignore texts, phone calls, and responsibilities. After a while, they might call up a good friend and vent about their struggles and fears.
INFJs also feel embarrassed when they cry in front of others or react emotionally to criticism. They also experience “second-hand embarrassment”. This occurs when they empathize too strongly with someone who has done something awkward or is embarrassing themselves.
Their focused urgency can look like impatience – especially to other people who are affected by it.
Women with the INFJ personality type
INFJ Females tend to be reserved, empathetic people. They are likely to value healthy structure and stability, while tending to remain open to new ideas and solutions. They often have a natural desire to help others and make moral choices.
The INFJ stare is often characterized by its intensity. It may seem like an endless gaze, as if the INFJ is looking right into your soul. They may appear thoughtful and analytical—like they're deeply assessing you or the situation.
INFJs will not reveal their feelings to someone they love or admire until they are absolutely sure that the person feels the same way. I personally have a self imposed wall around my heart and who I let in because I want the woman I love and marry to know and understand a side of me that no one else knows.
Of course, not all INFJs are depressed, and INFJs are certainly not the only Myers-Briggs personality types to struggle with depression. However, due to our sensitive nature, as well as our unique way of seeing the world, it's not uncommon for us INFJs to deal with depression at some point in our lives.
INFJs are known for their strong insights about people and situations. They get these insights through the use of their dominant cognitive function, Introverted Intuition. They also are extremely aware of people's emotions and moods.
It's still good for them to express their feelings, but they usually do that for validation and acceptance. They already know what their feelings are. INFJs, in contrast, often externalize their feelings to get advice, to sort them out, to understand them.