Camouflaging to fit specific social groups or people, others might accuse the INFJ of being fake, but that's not the case. The INFJ works hard to chameleon around others. Feeling misunderstood is part and parcel, and I've learned to adapt my behavior to suit situations.
INFJs are highly aware of what other people are feeling but are sometimes less aware of their own emotions. INFJs sometimes struggle to say no to other people's requests. They are so attuned to what other people are feeling that they fear causing disappointment or hurt feelings.
Some introverted types are more apt to be mistaken for extraverts than others. In our experience, the INFJ is the type most commonly misperceived as extraverted, although this can occur with the INTJ as well. There are a number of personality factors commonly associated with extraversion.
As one of the rarest personality types, they have a difficult time meeting someone like them in their careers, families, or other social groups. INFJs carry a burden few others will ever share. They often feel like they don't fit in, can't be “seen,” or aren't accepted as they truly are.
Their perfectionism can drive others away.
INFJs are perfectionists. Their compulsion for perfection can be harmful to the INFJ themselves, but it can also push people away.
INFJ: Superficiality
Superficial conversations about gossipy topics or small talk don't usually interest an INFJ, so it can be a major turn-off when someone is too eager to stick to the surface level of communication. Shallow conversations and frivolous topics can make an INFJ feel bored, disconnected, and uninspired.
INFJs are Idealists who care about personal growth and bringing the best out in others. This sounds great on paper, but it also means you may idolize people and create unrealistic expectations when it comes to romantic partnerships.
They tend to be gracious and friendly to people, and if they are confident, they may even have a gift for flirting and making eye contact. However, time and time again, INFJs have told me that they get uncomfortably awkward around their crushes.
The INFJ type result is one of the most common mistypes I come across; I've found that usually, about 80% of the people who type as INFJs online are actually ISFJs, INFPs, or ISFPs.
INFJs also feel embarrassed when they cry in front of others or react emotionally to criticism. They also experience “second-hand embarrassment”. This occurs when they empathize too strongly with someone who has done something awkward or is embarrassing themselves.
INFP is the type most commonly mistaken for INFJ, and they use Ne as their co-pilot process. If Signs 1 and 5 are both sound true for you there's a very good chance you're an INFP.
INFJs are easily overwhelmed by bright lights, strong smells, scratchy fabric or loud noise. This is not simply overreacting. For them, it feels like the volume is always turned up too high, sometimes bringing them to tears or making them avoid people.
They Encourage You and Notice Your Positive Strengths
It's important for them to make someone they love feel appreciated, uplifted, and inspired to embrace what makes them unique. INFJs might do this in a one-on-one conversation, in writing, or even just through the “vibe” they give off.
The INFJ. Upon first meeting, people often find you calm yet focused. There's a warmth and friendliness to your demeanor that helps put people at ease and encourages them to speak freely. Yet you also give people their space and are not prone to long bouts of chit-chat or small-talk.
INFPs and INFJs are commonly confused for one another due to their apparent commitment to sensitivity, forming deep relationships and helping others navigate the world. Though, while INFPs and INFJs may seem similar at first glance, these two personality types possess distinctions which set them apart.
If you know someone who avoids confrontation, they could be an INFJ. These personalities are primarily concerned with reading people's emotions and maintaining group harmony. This means they thrive in peaceful environments and find any type of interpersonal conflict troubling and stressful.
The best matches for INFJs include intuitive types such as INTJ, INFP, and ENFJ. INFJs are the least compatible with sensors, especially ESTJs, ESTPs, and ESFPs.
In a word—No. First of all—to fall in love requires relationship—and I as a woman would not pursue getting to know a man ever unless he started conversing with me. Then there has to be attraction—which for an INFJ is not physical.
People are high-fiving, cheering, and otherwise overdoing it emotionally. As an INFJ you tend to feel out-of-your-element in these situations. You might attempt to cheer only to be taken aback by the awkward tension and self-consciousness in your voice.
Because of our passionate need for meaningful connection, we INFJs can get jealous easily when we see other people connecting and having fun. We might compare ourselves to them, or worse yet, when someone close to us has friends of their own, we might pull away, feeling unwanted and pathetic.
An INFJ might flirt by asking someone to listen to a song that might help convey feelings the INFJ can't verbalize. We flirt by being awkward. Do we spend a lot of time around them and try to catch a quick glimpse, and then turn away? We flirt with time.
Yes, the INFJ could be withdrawing from you because they realize they aren't really interested in you in that way. They may want to remain friends, but they're afraid to say those words out loud, in case they lose a relationship with you completely.
An INFJ can be difficult to spot due to the fact that they're not prevalent in society and tend to be reserved individuals. However, INFJs can make fiercely loyal friends, empathetic and organized employees, and exceptional leaders for causes they deem worthy and for the greater good of humanity.