Like me, many INFJs become victims of emotional stacking—bottling up our emotions to avoid disharmony or conflict. But it can be a little more complicated. There are several reasons INFJs are afraid of opening up to others. If these seem familiar, you aren't alone; I can own up to each cause without question.
Sometimes an INFJ may bottle up an emotion because they simply don't know what it is so they can't really effectively deal with it. If they don't acknowledge that a certain negative emotion exists they are likely to let that pile up until they do.
INFJs feel deeply, and that's likely the understatement of the year — but they often struggle to express those feelings. The introvert's way of interacting with the world is to quietly explore it, and the same goes for our internal world.
Because they feel so misunderstood, INFJs don't often share their deep feelings with others. INFJs can be very eager to please because they feel other people's emotions so intensely and want them to be happy. But they can easily take on too much responsibility for people who should be standing on their own two feet.
INFJs will not reveal their feelings to someone they love or admire until they are absolutely sure that the person feels the same way. I personally have a self imposed wall around my heart and who I let in because I want the woman I love and marry to know and understand a side of me that no one else knows.
INFJs tend to be guarded about their physical space, except for when it comes to family and VERY close friends. If they're finding excuses to touch your hand, bump up against you, or hug you, then it probably means they have feelings for you.
If you're eager to be the INFJ love match for your crush, keep on reading. An INFJ in love will spend more time with you than they would with any other person. They'll also go out for you and be concerned about your welfare. However, this shouldn't be mistaken for their natural loving sides.
Sometimes becoming the detached critic is a healthy thing for an INFJ. Manipulators and fair-weather friends can take their toll, and it's sometimes necessary for INFJs to stop reacting and to listen to their logical side rather than always taking care of other people's feelings.
INFJ INFJs actually do become very upset if their loved ones ignore them for a long time.
INFJs are perfectionists. Their compulsion for perfection can be harmful to the INFJ themselves, but it can also push people away. The INFJs high expectations can make their partners feel like they are never good enough. In some cases, it's a misunderstanding.
INFJs are so concerned about the feelings of others that we often hold ourselves back. We can be reluctant to open up or make the first move in a relationship because we're not sure if the other person really wants to listen to us or really cares about the issues and ideas that are so precious to us.
When INFJs care about someone they try to shine a light on that person's hidden strengths or even obvious positive qualities. It's important for them to make someone they love feel appreciated, uplifted, and inspired to embrace what makes them unique.
Being the ambitious problem-solver that most INFJs are, next steps are not optional; they are mandatory. This means more time spent doing for others and less time giving to ourselves. Eventually, this drains our internal reserves, and we're left feeling frazzled, on edge, and burned out.
Like me, many INFJs become victims of emotional stacking—bottling up our emotions to avoid disharmony or conflict. But it can be a little more complicated. There are several reasons INFJs are afraid of opening up to others. If these seem familiar, you aren't alone; I can own up to each cause without question.
Yes, the INFJ could be withdrawing from you because they realize they aren't really interested in you in that way. They may want to remain friends, but they're afraid to say those words out loud, in case they lose a relationship with you completely.
INFJs often lock out their emotions when they're upset. These often try to process their thoughts before reacting, which is why they might keep quiet or shut people out when aggrieved. The last thing they'd want to do is to react without consideration.
Stressed or unhappy INFJs are often tired of trying to make people feel good. They stop caring what people think and about “blending in” socially. In fact, they may feel a sense of relief in laying out criticisms, nitpicking other people's statements, or even starting a debate over the logic of something.
Abandonment
INFJs are notorious for having a difficult time trusting others. They read between the lines so fluently and look for hidden meanings so frequently that they take everything with a grain of salt, almost without realizing it.
Of course, not all INFJs are depressed, and INFJs are certainly not the only Myers-Briggs personality types to struggle with depression. However, due to our sensitive nature, as well as our unique way of seeing the world, it's not uncommon for us INFJs to deal with depression at some point in our lives.
INFJs are so concerned with maintaining harmony and improving the moods and emotions of others, that they can leave their own emotions and feelings untended. As a result, they can wind up feeling overloaded with other people's feelings and lost and alone when managing their own.
Any time I read an article about INFJs and relationships, it seems to repeat the same advice: our “ideal” match is the ENTP personality type.
Loyalty. Loyalty is not only a quality that INFJs are attracted to, but also something they expect to find in a future partner.
INFJs are likely to thrive in relationships where their partner is putting in an equal amount of effort. They tend to look for partners who are motivated, trustworthy, and encouraging. They want to feel fully loved and accepted as they are in a relationship and are unlikely to give up on their partner.