Yes, hoarders often struggle with control issues, but it manifests as a difficulty controlling discarding items and making decisions, often stemming from deep-seated anxieties, a need for perceived security, and executive functioning deficits (like planning and organizing) rather than a desire to control others, though family conflict can arise from the resulting chaos. They feel distress at the thought of letting go, viewing possessions as crucial for safety and identity, creating an internal struggle where they feel out of control due to their inability to manage their environment or their own urges. Cleveland Clinic +4
Patience, Kindness, and Understanding Have patience. Work on one area at a time. Gradually reduce the bulk of the hoard with the person's permission so that the contrast from living in a full house to an empty space is not stark. Be kind and always ask if they are willing and able to work on the hoard.
Discussing the hoarding problem in an open and accepting way is an important first step. Respecting the hoarding loved one's attachments to possessions is critical to being able to hold such discussions. This can help to establish respect for the rights of each member of the household as well.
It often leads to family strain and conflicts, isolation and loneliness. Hoarding can affect the social development of children. Unlivable conditions may lead to separation or divorce, eviction and even loss of child custody.
Some people say hoarding helps them cope with other mental health problems. Or that it distracts them from feeling very anxious, upset or afraid. There can sometimes be a link between hoarding and impulse control. This is when you find it almost impossible to resist certain actions, such as buying items.
Here are some of the key characteristics of people who hoard, their behavior patterns, potential triggers and the challenges they face.
Controlling behaviors can also be a symptom of several personality disorders, such as histrionic personality, borderline personality, and narcissistic personality. These disorders can only be diagnosed by a licensed health care professional.
Some people develop hoarding disorder after experiencing a stressful life event that they had difficulty coping with, such as the death of a loved one, divorce or losing possessions in a fire.
Compulsive hoarding is a progressive and chronic condition that begins early in life. Left untreated, its severity increases with age.
Hoarding disorder is a recognized psychological condition where people feel compelled to keep items regardless of their actual value or usefulness. The thought of discarding things causes significant distress, leading to rapid accumulation and cluttered living spaces.
Hoarding disorder is a mental health problem that a psychiatrist or other mental health professional can diagnose. But you might also experience hoarding as part of another mental or physical health problem. If you hoard, you might: Feel the need to get more things, even if you have a lot already.
The idea behind the 10-10 decluttering method is refreshingly simple—which ups the chances that you'll be able to stick to it! Over the course of 10 days, you'll declutter 10 items a day from 10 different areas or rooms of your home. Not hardcore enough? Try limiting each day's decluttering session to only 10 minutes.
The medicines most commonly used are a type of antidepressant called selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs). Research continues on the most effective ways to use medicines in the treatment of hoarding disorder.
Decluttering and Organizing
Start the cleaning process by removing obvious trash and clutter, beginning with the room closest to the exit and working your way through the home. A top-to-bottom approach ensures that the hazardous areas are cleared first, improving safety as you go.
Many people who hoard have strongly held beliefs related to acquiring and discarding things, such as: "I may need this someday" or "If I buy this, it will make me happy". Others may be struggling to cope with a stressful life event, such as the death of a loved one.
If the 5x5 method is as new to you as it was to me, allow me to explain. Coined by Steph of The Secret Slob, this technique requires nothing but a timer and twenty-five free minutes. Pick five rooms or zones and dedicate five minutes per area. In twenty-five minutes, Steph promises a cleaner, less cluttered home.
The emotional impact can be profound. Stress, shame, and anxiety are common experiences, and hoarding disorder often co-occurs with other mental health conditions. The accumulation of items can interfere with daily routines. It can also create serious safety and health risks, making everyday life more difficult.
While there's no direct link between autism and hoarding disorder, research has found a significant crossover between the two conditions. Studies have found nearly 25% of autistic children demonstrate hoarding behaviors.
Hoarders tend to have high IQ's and they also have difficulty processing information. They may also have negative self perceptions of themselves and they may be ashamed, embarrassed, overwhelmed, or out of control. They may harbor fears of being considered "crazy" or their fear of being "found out".
In many cases, hoarding disorder is closely linked to Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD). C-PTSD develops in response to prolonged, repeated trauma, particularly in situations where escape or relief is not possible—such as in cases of chronic childhood abuse or neglect.
In fact, if it's done without their consent, discarding the hoarder's possessions usually does more harm than good. The hoarder will likely be angry and resentful—damaging the relationship between you—and their process of accumulation will simply begin all over again.
The International OCD Foundation reports the following common reasons for hoarding items: not wasting things, fear of losing important information, emotional meaning of objects, and the characteristics of objects.
Insulting, demeaning, or shaming you, especially in front of other people. Preventing you from making your own decisions, including about working or attending school. Controlling finances in the household without discussion, including taking your money or refusing to provide money for necessary expenses.
When a high-conflict person has one of five common personality disorders—borderline, narcissistic, paranoid, antisocial, or histrionic—they can lash out in risky extremes of emotion and aggression. And once an HCP decides to target you, they're hard to shake. But there are ways to protect yourself.