While it may feel impossible and certainly takes time to stop loving someone, it's absolutely possible to do just that. In fact, you may find that in no longer loving this person you open yourself up to the possibility of loving others — and even yourself.
It's truly possible to take a turn toward getting back the love you once shared with another person. The short answer to the question of whether we can stop ourselves from falling out of love is yes. Staying in love is possible, but like most good things in life, it usually takes some effort.
How long does it take to stop loving someone? Every relationship is different, and the reasons to break up are various. So, there cannot be a fixed timeframe for you to stop loving someone. However, according to a 2007 study, most people move on from a relationship within 3 months (1).
It's possible to feel like you've suddenly lost interest in your partner and that you no longer care for them as you once did. This isn't always as sudden as it seems as it can be the result of issues that have been building up for some time.
According to research published in The Journal of Positive Psychology, it takes 11 weeks to feel better after a relationship ends. But a separate study found it takes closer to 18 months to heal from the end of a marriage. In reality, heartbreak is a grieving process - and it looks completely different for everyone.
Just as love and attraction can fade, they can also be rekindled with time, effort, and patience—so long as both partners are willing to put the work in. Do You Feel Like You've Fallen Out Of Love With Your Partner?
Genuine love is profound—it does not come and go every now and then; it is something that is likely to last over time. This does not mean that love cannot fade away, but even when it does, it leaves some scars, or rather potential feelings that can flourish if and when the environment is conducive.
Relationships can be difficult at times and it's not uncommon for couples to find themselves losing romantic feelings and facing the decision of whether to remain together or separate. It is normal for relationships to change over time, and that sometimes includes losing feelings for the person you are with.
If you find yourself totally disinterested in what your partner thinks, feels, says or does, it's likely that loving feeling is gone. Arzt adds people who “only do the bare minimum” may be falling out of love. “They may oblige with date night, but they feel restless and bored,” she says.
One of the key reasons why people fall out of love is that they don't feel appreciated, respected, or valued in their relationship. For instance, if your partner no longer compliments you, shows any gratitude, or even acknowledges your accomplishments or work, it can be hard to feel truly loved.
Communication issues and unrealistic expectations are two of the main reasons people find themselves falling out of love. But there are things that can be done to stop the fall. Relationships are hard work; they should be viewed as investments, particularly if there is a marriage.
That might sound like it means you're not with the right person or like your relationship is going downhill, but the truth is, having that "falling out of love" feeling is completely normal.
Love is both a matter of choice and a strong feeling. While feelings can change over time, love is more stable. Even if you don't feel the same way you felt about someone at the beginning of a relationship, you can choose to stay with them even in the more difficult or boring times.
Attachment – Oxytocin and Vasopressin
The final stage of falling in love is attachment, this is the predominant factor in defining the success of long-term relationships.
If you're not being satisfied emotionally, sexually or intellectually, it's probably time to move on. Ending a relationship is hard, but it's sometimes the only correct thing to do. If you and your partner aren't connecting on the most fundamental levels, it will be best for both of you to move on.
When two people have at least a few common interests—hobbies and activities they can enjoy together—it's a strong indicator of a relationship worth saving. This is especially true if those interests involve an important area of life for one or (preferably) both people.
If you feel empty even when your partner is very present in your life, that could indicate a deeper issue. You might suspect that this relationship isn't a good fit for you or experience self-doubt. It's important not to jump to conclusions. As mentioned above, depression is one common cause of feelings of emptiness.