(Yes, you can love someone but still be unhappy.) “Ask yourself: If today is my last day, can I say that I'm in the relationship that I want to be in? That I deserve to be in?” says Branson. If the answers are no, acknowledge that what you want does matter—and that it ultimately might be worth ending your relationship.
If you are unhappy in your relationship, you need to identify the issues that are bothering you, discuss them with your partner, and work together to find solutions. If you feel like you need help, you can seek support from loved ones, or start going to a therapist or couples counselor.
Sometimes, couples are unhappy because they feel bored in a relationship, or because both partners have lost the physical spark they used to have. At other times, there may be extreme jealousy present in the relationship, or perhaps a severe case of emotional manipulation.
If both partners are giving equally, the relationship will work. But if your partner takes you for granted or doesn't respect you, that means trouble. Sometimes this is a result of relationship stressors that can be fixed. If you feel deeply that your partner no longer values you, it could be time to leave.
Common Signs You May Be Feeling Unhappy In Your Relationship
You look for excuses not to see your partner. You feel the urge to be with someone else. You think you would be more comfortable living a different life. You are not attracted to your partner anymore.
There are things you can try to repair and improve loveless relationship quality. Tips to rehabilitate an unhappy relationship remind of things like the importance of communication, respectful conflict resolution, constructive feedback and criticism, and constant effort to make it better.
Signs of a struggling relationship
You (or your partner) would rather do anything else but spend time with each other. You make each other feel unworthy or not good enough. You sacrifice being true to yourself for the sake of your partner and to avoid conflict. You don't like who you are when you're with your partner.
Red flags in a relationship include excessive jealousy and frequent lying. You should also be wary of a partner who frequently criticizes you or puts you down. Another major red flag is an unwillingness to compromise — relationships shouldn't be one-sided.
Stonewalling, one of the Four Horsemen, is Dr. John Gottman's term for one or both partners shutting down when feeling overwhelmed during conflict. Rather than confronting the issue, someone who is stonewalling will be unresponsive, making evasive maneuvers such as tuning out, turning away, or acting busy.
If you love someone, you may start to wake up and go to sleep while thinking about them. You may also crave them physically, start planning a future with them, and want to show affection. Being in love also means that you're willing to put in the work to see the relationship thrive.
Don't stay in an unhappy relationship, especially if the relationship is one-sided and you don't even want to try to relate to your partner. Feeling done is difficult, but the tough choice to leave can provide much-needed relief. Maybe you can't make things better.
People stay in unhappy relationships for all sorts of reasons. Some of the most common reasons people get “trapped” are: Guilt and shame. You might feel like you're somehow indebted to this person, or be afraid of what others might think if you leave the relationship.
Do you prefer spending time with family, friends, or people other than your partner but still won't give up on your relationship? If you feel this way, you could be settling. On the other hand, if you don't have a sense of happiness and feel nothing when you are around him, it is a sign you are settling.
Three-Month Rule: After a Break-Up
Basically, after a break-up, the three-month rule is a rule that says you and your ex are both given 3 months before entering the dating scene again. Just waiting it out, and mourning that your relationship ended. Just go on with your individual separate lives and see what happens.
“When you've found The One, you want everyone in your life to meet them, and get to know them,” says Assimos. “You are genuinely excited about the prospect of being with this person, and you're no longer are looking around to see what else is out there.”
The average American man knows after seven months of dating if his partner is “the one,” according to new research. A survey of 2,000 engaged and married American men revealed that 49% of men who popped the question received little hints from their partner encouraging the proposal.
One of the major signs you should not break up is if it's hard to picture your life without them. There will always be ups and downs in a long-term relationship, but you know it's worth it if you see them as your future. “Thoughts of a future without your partner [will] feel empty and bleak,” explains Winter.
Another big mistake couples tend to make is to take their relationship for granted, to take their love for granted. By doing so, they carelessly begin to erode the quality of connection with harsh words, working too much, or devoting too much time to a hobby. Love is a choice—every single day!