If you have grown up with narcissistic parents, you may have experienced trauma, or even repeated traumas over the course of your childhood. If this is the case, you may have PTSD or cPTSD as a result. You can heal from these inner child wounds with the help of a skilled Trauma Therapist.
In most cases, those who have been raised in narcissistic families will have a history of complex trauma. Survivors will have trauma symptoms such as hyper-vigilance and emotional flashbacks. But those who have suffered narcissistic parenting will also have ongoing issues with identity and self-definition.
Many children of narcissists will grow up to have Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Any type of long-term trauma, over several months or years, can lead to Complex PTSD.
Growing up with a narcissistic mother leaves lasting impacts upon a daughter, including problems in relationships, low self-esteem, perfectionism, people-pleasing, difficulty with emotions, and anxiety and depression.
The scapegoat is someone who must embody what the narcissistic parent cannot stand in themselves. By “finding” what they hate in themselves to be in the scapegoat child, the parent feels protected; this is the role of the scapegoat child.
Children who grow up with a narcissistic parent tend to suffer from at least some of the following as children and as adults: anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, self-doubt, self-blame, indecision, people-pleasing tendencies, difficulties with emotional intimacy, and codependent relationships.
Your parent's mood swings, emotional neglect and violent outbursts have likely left an indelible mark on your nervous system, making it difficult for you to regulate your own emotions. The cruelty and abuse of the narcissistic parent are nothing short of traumatic.
Signs and symptoms of narcissistic abuse syndrome
Long-term abuse can change a victim's brain, resulting in cognitive decline and memory loss. In turn, the changes in the brain can increase the risk for chronic stress, PTSD, and symptoms of self-sabotage.
Nightmares, flashbacks, and intrusive thoughts. Hyper-awareness, vigilance, anger, and irritability. Misplaced sense of blame, low self-worth. Avoidance of certain situations or people or a sense of detachment.
Conclusion. Narcissistic abuse can have devastating consequences on a survivor's mental health and emotional wellbeing. It can also lead to the development of PTSD or CPTSD, with all the symptoms that these conditions bring with them.
Effects of Being Raised by Narcissists
Dr. Brunell says, “The child typically suffers from low psychological well-being, such as low self-esteem, depression, and anxiety. They tend to try to please others and have poor ability to set boundaries or to say no to people's requests.
Narcissistic mothers will frequently criticize and belittle her children, often focusing on their perceived flaws or failures. She may be overly critical of her child's appearance, asking them to wear more make-up, change clothes, or lose weight.
Narcissists may use the silent treatment to communicate they are unhappy with you, to control you, or as a form of punishment. If the narcissist uses the silent treatment to deflect responsibility for something they have done wrong, it can also be a form of narcissistic gaslighting.
It's a phenomenon called the narcissistic abuse cycle. This cycle is broken down into three important phases: idealization, devaluation, and rejection.
Most recent theories have focused on the link between narcissism and negative childhood experiences, such as physical or sexual violence, neglect, or rejection [10,11].
Neglectful. Narcissistic mothers often neglect their children emotionally and may not be there for them when they need emotional support. They may also neglect their children's basic needs such as food, water, shelter, clothing, etc. because they are too busy thinking about themselves and what they want.
If you fail to obey a narcissistic parents unjust demands, question their entitlement or sense of superiority in any way, you are subjected to rage attacks meant to control you and keep you in line. Its no wonder that many adult children of narcissists develop fawning and people-pleasing tendencies.
The golden child is expected to be extraordinary at everything, not make mistakes, and essentially be “perfect.” Golden children are usually raised by narcissistic parents who are controlling and authoritarian.
Filling an adult role too early: Golden children are often parentified, meaning that they are required to step into a pseudo-adult role by their narcissistic parent. Because golden children are perceived as more perfect or special, they are given greater status than their siblings hold.
Golden children cannot explore their identities because they spend all their time obeying their narcissistic parents. Since narcissists can only provide conditional love, golden children feel a severe amount of pressure to please their parents to be accepted and loved.