After some serious digging, the answer: yes and no. While there are things you can do to improve someone's ability and make their kissing a little more your style, there isn't much you can do if they're not willing to change.
Kissing requires consent. Never just jump in, you need to ask and know your partner is comfortable. To fix a bad kisser, begin with being honest and open about what you want from your partner. Begin with complimenting your partner for their effort, then, sweetly tell them what you need to change.
When they start mauling your mouth, pull away slowly, count for a beat and give them a single, tender, kiss on the lips. It wouldn't hurt to say “I love being kissed really gently” or “I like going slow”. It might feel awkward, but most bad kissers really are crying out for a little instruction.
Whilst bad breath, a darting tongue and a wet sloppy kiss are rated as the biggest kissing turn-offs according to science, it might also be your smell, taste or even your pheromones that's causing the problem. Being a bad kisser can be a deal breaker, but kissing is more complicated than most people think.
Very often, incompatibility in kissing heralds an incompatibility in the bedroom but, in addition, some people have an inability to be sensually – or even appropriately – tactile. Some have poor proprioception, which can make love-making more difficult.
FOR 99.9% of women, bad kissing is a deal-breaker. A very fast deal-breaker. A woman will give you one pass for nervousness. If the second kissing experience is poor, that's it.
You can be a better kisser with attention and practice, Ellin says. "Just like with anything sexual, you need to learn the technical skills first. Then you can add the artistry." No matter what your level of skill and experience, kissing is not like riding a bike.
Bottom line, a bad first kiss is only a dealbreaker if someone thinks it's a dealbreaker. If a particular kissing style is a top priority to someone, then it could be the end of the relationship before it even begins.
If it gets to this, just be light-hearted, and focus on the positives, without putting the pressure on them – for example, say you really like how things are going but you don't feel like you have the same kissing style, and ask if you can work together on that.
People usually consider a kiss sloppy when it leaves saliva on your face, especially outside of your lips. If you or your significant other has to wipe their face or has drool on it, the kiss is probably too sloppy.
*Show him the way. Initiate by teasing him with intimate kissing techniques when he least expects, since once his mouth starts moving too much, it's going to be tricky to tame him. Instead, sensuously nibble or gently suck on his lip, and give him a tender surface lip kiss.
A bad kisser is almost always inexperienced, and/or doesn't know how to read their partner's body language. They don't understand how to work their mouth/tongue in rhythm with their partner and often get slobbery and click teeth.
A kiss might seem like a natural thing to do for most of us, but the scientific jury is still out on whether it is a learned or instinctual behaviour. Approximately 90 per cent of cultures kiss, making a strong case for the act being a basic human instinct.
You get all giddy. When you kiss someone, your body releases happy hormones. A rush of dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin hits your system the moment your lips lock. With this positive cocktail and a heart-fluttering kiss, you'll feel like you're on cloud nine!
Both a cranked-open jaw and a closed-mouth, hard pucker aren't the most pleasant to smooch. Keep your lips just-apart enough, allowing the kisses to be soft and deep, and keep your mouth relaxed. You want to see where the kiss takes you.
“The three second rule was an old piece of advice about the time it takes to make a good first impression. How it's shifted to meaning that guys can forcibly kiss and touch a woman for three seconds to see if she says no, is a horrible reflection of the understanding people have about consent.
If she stiffens or pulls away, that's a sign she's not yet comfortable, and going in for a kiss now probably won't go well. If she blushes, giggles, or smiles, those are signs she's comfortable with you and would possibly be receptive to a kiss.
Is that normal? Yeah, it means that you are not physically attracted to the person. You might be emotionally or romantically attracted to them, which can often be confused for physical attraction. To feel the “sparks” of a kiss, you must be emotionally, physically and romantically attracted to a person.
The fact is, it's totally normal for your first kiss to be a little bumpy. You might clash heads, bump noses or teeth, or get the giggles halfway through. That's OK! These are natural things that happen to people all the time, even those who have been kissing for a long time.
But if the slurpy, slurpy goings on are evoking a reaction a little stronger than eugh, you could be suffering from an actual syndrome. “Some people genuinely suffer from something called Misophonia, where they become stressed out by the sounds other people make, like breathing, snoring or kissing,” Lucy explains.
A lusty kiss on the lips (think: the classic make-out session) points to your partner being really into you—and currently aroused. Yet, a deep, heavy kiss means that they feel a relatively intimate bond with you or are looking to get closer.