You can't truly "completely forget" a traumatic memory, as the brain often stores it differently, but you can become unable to access it due to defense mechanisms like dissociative amnesia or repression, leading to significant memory gaps or fragmented recall. While the memory might be blocked from conscious recall, it still impacts you and can resurface unexpectedly through triggers; professional therapy (like EMDR) helps reprocess these memories, reducing their power rather than erasing them.
But is it possible to forget something so important as trauma? There's been a vigorous debate between researchers and clinicians for decades about this issue. But in the last 15 years research has shown that the answer is yes, it is possible.
Remembering the Past: 4 Ways to Recall Childhood Trauma
Causes of unresolved trauma may include:
Research shows that several neurobiological factors may explain the delay. Our minds are like vaults where memories are securely stored away — and traumatic memories are not easily erased. Often, your mind protects you by compartmentalizing these memories, only to have them resurface later as a delayed trauma response.
Brain areas implicated in the stress response include the amygdala, hippocampus, and prefrontal cortex. Traumatic stress can be associated with lasting changes in these brain areas.
12 Signs You're Repressing Childhood Trauma
The "8 childhood traumas" often refer to common Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) from the CDC, including physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, physical neglect, emotional neglect, household substance abuse, a household member with mental illness, and parental separation/divorce, though these can be expanded to include things like violence, discrimination, or sudden loss, which profoundly impact a child's development and well-being. These experiences, especially repeated ones (complex trauma), disrupt a child's sense of safety, leading to issues with trust, emotional regulation, and relationships, often manifesting as anxiety, depression, or attachment problems in adulthood.
A common symptom that arises from traumatic experiences is hyperarousal (also called hypervigilance). Hyperarousal is the body's way of remaining prepared. It is characterized by sleep disturbances, muscle tension, and a lower threshold for startle responses and can persist years after trauma occurs.
In univariate analyses, all 5 forms of childhood trauma in this study (ie, witnessing violence, physical neglect, emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse) demonstrated statistically significant relationships with the number of different aggressive behaviors reported in adulthood.
It's completely normal to not remember much of your childhood, and this doesn't necessarily mean anything is wrong. Often, our limited recollections are based on normal memory development. But for some people, suppressed or fragmented memories may be the result of childhood trauma.
Therapists reported employing various techniques such as hypnosis, age regression, or instructions to remember, with these techniques being used in 42% of the recovered memory cases to aid recollection. In 21% of the cases, techniques were used before any memory had emerged.
The "3 C's of Trauma" usually refer to Connect, Co-Regulate, and Co-Reflect, a model for trauma-informed care focusing on building safe relationships, helping individuals manage overwhelming emotions (co-regulation), and processing experiences (co-reflection). Other "3 C's" include Comfort, Conversation, and Commitment for children's coping, and Catch, Check, Change from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for challenging negative thoughts in trauma recovery.
Trauma memories are stored differently in the brain, which can lead to experiences like: Scattered or fragmented memories: You might remember certain details very vividly—like sounds, smells, or physical sensations—while other parts of the experience are unclear or missing.
It won't rid you of PTSD and your fears, but let your tears flow and you'll maybe feel a little better afterwards. 'Crying for long periods of time releases oxytocin and endogenous opioids, otherwise known as endorphins. These feel-good chemicals can help ease both physical and emotional pain.
Signs of childhood trauma
Because our nervous system and brain can hold onto painful and traumatic events, chronic pain can be very real and present even after the physical injury has healed.
Trauma Signs and Symptoms
Not being able to cry can be a trauma response, but it isn't always one. People who've experienced trauma, in general, or trauma around crying may have learned to suppress their tears or emotions as a way to keep themselves safe, Dr. Zucker says.
Traumatic reactions can include a variety of responses, such as intense and ongoing emotional upset, depressive symptoms or anxiety, behavioral changes, difficulties with self-regulation, problems relating to others or forming attachments, regression or loss of previously acquired skills, attention and academic ...
Complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD) can result from experiencing chronic trauma, such as prolonged child abuse or domestic violence. It's closely related to PTSD and borderline personality disorder. CPTSD is manageable with psychotherapy (talk therapy) and medication.
The 10 ACEs of childhood trauma are:
Quiet trauma (sometimes called “small t” trauma) includes experiences that aren't overtly dangerous but are deeply distressing, especially when they happen repeatedly or during important developmental periods. Examples include: Emotional neglect or invalidation as a child.
There are several reasons a person may be unable to remember their childhood. The most common reason is childhood trauma, which can change how memories are stored in the brain. Other possible reasons include mental health, cognitive issues, or the normal forgetfulness that happens with time.
Overthinking is a coping mechanism that people develop from an early stage in life, typically due to childhood trauma. Experiencing abuse, invalidation, or neglect as a child can push individuals into overthinking as a coping mechanism to have a sense of control and safety.