Kids with ADHD often feel emotions more deeply than other kids do, and love is no exception. When teens with ADHD fall in love, the good — and bad — feelings that come with it can be even more intense and more disruptive. New relationships or crushes are exciting and (mostly) enjoyable.
The different symptoms of ADHD can make it harder to maintain a love life. For instance, being forgetful can be a cause of conflict if you forget important details about your partner. Being impulsive can also lead to wrong decisions that might result in arguments.
Distraction, procrastination, and other ADHD symptoms can stir anger, frustration, and hurt feelings for both the person with ADHD and the partner. But your marriage or relationship can thrive with proper treatment and tactics to ward off misunderstandings.
ADHD is not the kiss of death. The condition, alone, can't make or break a romantic relationship. But, if symptoms of attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD) are not properly acknowledged, treated, and accepted, they can — and often do — create or exacerbate marital tensions.
It's not an exaggeration to say that ADHD worsens and prolongs the pain of a breakup, even leading to depression and low self-esteem. Getting over a breakup is way more difficult for us than it is for most neurotypical people.
The roots of hyperfocus in ADHD relationships are complex, but the end result is often clear: While some partners may feel smothered, many get swept away by the over-the-top adoration. Then, when the obsessive love fades — or, more commonly, ends abruptly — the other partner feels abandoned and keenly bereft.
Due to differences in the ADHD brain, you can shift focus even more quickly, causing you to seem to lose interest in your partner or your relationship suddenly. During the early stages of a relationship, the partner affected by ADHD can focus intensely on the romance and the new partner.
Equally true (though less recognized) is the fact that partners with ADHD are among the most loyal, generous, engaged, and genuinely fun people you could meet. And after a lifetime of criticism for their ADHD faults, they need for their partners to recognize these good qualities — and vice versa, for that matter.
The attentional and emotional self-regulation challenges that can exist for partners with ADHD can interfere with experiential intimacy in several ways. First, the partner with ADHD may be distracted within the experience, missing the moment together.
For patients diagnosed with adult ADHD there tends to be a “honeymoon period”, where they are really happy with treatment. They are excited and like 'wow I feel great' / 'this is so much better'.
Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder can cause misunderstandings, frustrations, and resentments in your closest relationships. But there are ways to build a healthier, happier partnership.
“They'll over-compensate for the ADHD partner's symptomatic behaviors, and over time they'll become resentful and angry because they're over-functioning in the relationship,” Orlov adds. Additionally, if one person does all of the work, the other may feel as though they're being controlled and rebel.
Studies suggest that ADHD-driven emotional sensitivity in people makes them struggle to cope with rejection. This rejection may be as simple as having a friend say no to you or as big as not being accepted for a job you applied for.
Emotional detachment, or the act of being disconnected or disengaged from the feelings of others, is a symptom of ADHD.
In one study, researchers found that people with self-reported ADHD symptoms earned lower scores for affective empathy compared to other participants. However, they were still within the range of what's considered typical for empathy levels overall.
Poor concentration can make it hard to appear interested, as people with ADHD can drift off in conversations or when discussing family matters and plans. The difficulties caused by attention deficit in ADHD can lead to a lack of confidence, which can affect a persons ability to form and maintain relationships.
These people “might feel a deep sense of intimacy and acceptance” when they first fall in love. “They might also have a surge in confidence,” which is something that a lot of people with ADHD lack.
“Love bombing” is defined by someone showering their partner with excessive affection, attention, gifts, and flattery in order to gain their trust and dependence.
Toxic relationships hound many people with ADHD, whose persistent symptoms and battered self-esteem make them especially susceptible to “love bombing,” “trauma bonding,” and other romantic red flags. Here, learn how to spot signs of an unhealthy relationship.
Controlling behavior and distrust. Abusive — this is also inclusive of emotionally abusive behaviors, such as gaslighting, love bombing, breadcrumbing etc. Disrespectful. Financial abuse or dishonesty.