Whether the trauma was physical, sexual, or emotional, the impact can show up in a host of relationship issues. Survivors often believe deep down that no one can really be trusted, that intimacy is dangerous, and for them, a real loving attachment is an impossible dream.
Traumatic events, on the other hand, can create the most complex and difficult cases of intimacy avoidance. And a few examples of these events include the following: Physical or sexual abuse. Verbal abuse.
If we have experienced an event that makes us feel unsafe, reduces our sexual desire, creates panic, and literally makes our skin crawl when touched, it makes it seem impossible to have any form of intimacy or physical contact with our partner.
POSTTRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER AND SEXUAL DIFFICULTIES
PTSD may impact a variety of sexual outcomes,13 including sexual desire, function (e.g., sexual arousal, orgasm), genito-pelvic pain, sexual satisfaction sexual distress, and frequency of sexual activity.
“The fear of intimacy can be caused by different reasons including abuse or neglect, medical problems, fear of abandonment, or religious beliefs. Sometimes, it can even be a combination of issues and securing the help of a professional is necessary.”
Fear of sexual intimacy can stem from trauma, body image issues, or something else. Sometimes, fear of intimacy is also related to your attachment style. For example, if you have an avoidant attachment style, you might fear intimacy in your relationship.
There are many factors that might be affecting his sex drive—an undiagnosed medical condition, a side effect of a medication, a hormonal imbalance, stress, depression, low self-esteem, trauma, or even problems in your marriage that he hasn't brought up.
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD): Fearing touch may come from experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event. It may occur after sexual abuse, sexual assault or rape.
Whether the trauma was physical, sexual, or emotional, the impact can show up in a host of relationship issues. Survivors often believe deep down that no one can really be trusted, that intimacy is dangerous, and for them, a real loving attachment is an impossible dream.
In time, most are able to resume their prior level of closeness in relationships. Yet the 5% to 10% of survivors who develop PTSD may have lasting relationship problems. Survivors with PTSD may feel distant from others and feel numb. They may have less interest in social or sexual activities.
“Trauma dumping is the unfiltered sharing of strong emotions or upsetting experiences without permission from the listener.” When someone experiences any of the many types of trauma, they often feel overwhelmed and seek relief by sharing their story. Unfortunately, this can backfire.
Relationship PTSD, or post traumatic relationship syndrome (PTRS), is a form of traumatic stress caused by abusive or unhealthy relationships. Relationship trauma can cause lasting damage to self-esteem and make it difficult to form close, healthy relationships with others.
However, post-traumatic intimacy issues are not uncommon. When we experience a traumatic event of any type, our body goes into physiological “survival mode”—a response which, if not completed and returned to normal regulation of the nervous system, can lead to emotional and physical intimacy issues.
Rage, disrespect, and emotional stonewalling may not be relationship-ending in and of themselves, but continuing patterns can wear people down. An inability or unwillingness to respect your partner's thoughts, beliefs, and feelings can destroy the trust and intimacy in any relationship.
Initial reactions to trauma can include exhaustion, confusion, sadness, anxiety, agitation, numbness, dissociation, confusion, physical arousal, and blunted affect. Most responses are normal in that they affect most survivors and are socially acceptable, psychologically effective, and self-limited.
Taking into account the causes of clinginess, it becomes clear that this behavior is often the result of attachment trauma – not receiving the closeness, comfort, and security a child needs to feel safe. This perceived lack of safety expresses itself in all areas of life, but especially in romantic relationships.
Attachment Issues: Traumatic experiences in childhood can lead to insecure attachment styles in adulthood. This may manifest as a fear of abandonment, resulting in clinginess in relationships (anxious attachment), or as a fear of intimacy, leading to emotional detachment and self-isolation (avoidant attachment).
Other reasons why one partner may begin to avoid being touched by the other – If they are not experiencing much pleasure from coupled sex, they worry that it will lead to a fight, or if they have body image or self-confidence issues.
Coping with PTSD symptoms can be extremely challenging, and can directly impact the health of a relationship. If you find that your loved one is pushing you away when you try to communicate with them or show support, it may be because those experiencing PTSD often: Find it difficult to regulate emotions.
It turns out, it can. And that's when venting becomes trauma dumping — the act of oversharing your emotions in a way that becomes harmful to the other person. Psychologist Kia-Rai Prewitt, PhD, explains what trauma dumping is and how to address it in yourself and others.
Sex and interest in it do fall off when people are in their 70s, but more than a quarter of those up to age 85 reported having sex in the previous year. And the drop-off has a lot to do with health or lack of a partner, especially for women, the survey found.
When a woman lacks intimacy in marriage, it can have a significant impact on her emotional and physical health. The lack of physical touch, emotional connection, and sexual intimacy can lead to feelings of loneliness, depression, and low self-esteem.
Some people are fine with living in a sexless relationship; the key is ensuring that both partners are on the same page. On the contrary, other couples lose sexual desire for one another after infidelity. Broken trust can also break the desire to be intimate going forward.