In romantic relationships, overthinking gradually—day after day, month after month—can turn into a bad cognitive habit. It shortens our bandwidth for awareness, empathy, curiosity, and whatever is happening in our own hearts.
Since you are always stressing about one thing or another, you struggle to live in the present moment. In fact, overthinking can kill the joy of dating, meeting new people and enjoying what the current moment has to offer. Overthinking can make you assume negative consequences and jump to false conclusions.
Some people with relationship anxiety go even further than looking for reasons to break up, and actually sabotage the relationship. This stems from a fear that “things won't work out anyway.” If this is the case, reflect on what is motivating you to do so.
Overthinkers may put so much heart and soul into their relationships that they become concerned about the future. They may also end up assuming negative outcomes and jumping to incorrect conclusions, which can lead to arguments with their partners. They do obsess over the minutest of the details.
Overthinking may have more to do with your fears or past experiences than your present partner. It's important for you to share your relationships expectations with your partner and recognize if there were any times where you didn't fully share but held your partner to an uncommunicated standard.
While it's normal to have occasional anxious thoughts—especially in a new relationship—a regular habit of overthinking can be a serious obstacle in a healthy relationship.
Signs that you might be overthinking include: Dwelling on past events or situations. Second-guessing decisions you've made. Replaying your mistakes in your mind.
Overthinking can be an early indicator or symptom of depression, anxiety, and other mental health conditions. To stop overthinking, you can try challenging your thoughts, reaching out to loved ones for support, or talking to a mental health professional for extra help.
One of the main traits of an overthinker is that they do not want to be lied to. This means that you have to be genuine with them when you are with them. You shouldn't simply go through the motions when you speak with them. Always listen to what they say and tell the truth when they ask you questions.
Falling out of love can be a very scary feeling. It might feel like having noticeably less interest in your partner and feeling less excited about spending time with them, even though you still care about them.
Asking questions can help an overthinker process how they feel. If they're being quiet and it's obvious they're deep in thought, ask them what's on their mind. If they express an idea or thought, pepper them with follow-up questions to hear more about where they're coming from.
If you're just bantering back and forth, it's typically ok if the messages are spaced out. However, if you're trying to arrange something and she's not getting back to you, then this is a problem because not only does this make things difficult in terms of making plans, it suggests that she's losing interest.
Overthinking is a common trait in people with mental health disorders like anxiety, depression, and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).
Overthinking is patronizing a person, demeaning their thoughts and punishing them for thinking. There is no authoritative stance on the act of thinking, and there is no acceptable way of telling someone their thoughts are invalid.
Anxiety ruins relationships because it intrudes. It creates negative thought patterns and beliefs, and it makes them larger than life (as in bigger and more believable than reality). These issues erode feelings of connection and the ability to trust.
If your partner makes you angry, miserable, or bored often and if it is very hard for you to explain the reasons why you still love this person, it's an obvious sign that you should go your own path. If you feel suffocated in a relationship and if the negatives overshadow the positives, it's time to move on.
Mental illness alone is no excuse to break up with someone. Loads of people with mental health conditions are able to enjoy long lasting, fulfilling, happy relationships. Just because someone is depressed, has anxiety, or [insert mental illness here], doesn't mean you should write them off.
Overthinking is caused due to various reasons like fear, intolerance to uncertainty, trauma, or perfectionism. Overthinking can also be a symptom of already existing mental health conditions such as generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety, or depression.
Overthinking strikes all of us at some point, but if it goes unchecked and unresolved, overthinking can certainly morph healthy relationships into toxic relationships. If you fall victim to your thoughts and allow them to go too far, they can end up driving a wedge of distrust between you and other people in your life.