Some religions and traditions have set attire for the family members, but if you are just a visitor to the funeral, colours like black, white, or muted shades are acceptable. As red is a colour of celebration in the Chinese culture, it is highly offensive to wear red at a Chinese funeral.
Chinese funerals are sombre and serious events. One is expected to pay respects to the deceased so wearing neutral and subdued colours are recommended during the mourning period. Shades of blue, black, white or any other dull colours are acceptable.
The color you should wear to the funeral will depend on the age of the deceased. If the deceased was less than 80 years old when he or she passed, stick with traditional mourning colors like navy, black, or white. However, if the deceased was over the age of 80, the color pink may also be worn.
Guests at a Chinese funeral wear somber colors like black. Bright and colorful clothing, especially red, must be avoided as these colors are associated with happiness. White is acceptable and, if the deceased was 80 or above, white with pink or red is acceptable as the event is cause for celebration.
Red is not worn because it is the color of happiness and worn at weddings. A candle is lit and placed near the casket, and family members ensure that the flame burns throughout the entire time of the wake, from three to seven days. Those who live past the age of ninety are honored with the longest wake of seven days.
Wearing dark grey or deep blue is just as appropriate as black, while brown and lighter greys are suitable for the vast majority of funeral services. However, unless specifically requested by the deceased or their family, you should avoid any bright colors such as yellows, oranges, pinks, and reds.
As a neutral color, white should not be considered inappropriate at most North American funerals. Though you should ask the family hosting the service when in doubt, plain, neutral colors are generally acceptable for memorials. Wearing white in conjunction with other dark tones is absolutely appropriate.
Funeral guests are required to light incense for the deceased and bow as a sign of respect to the family. There will also be a donation box since money is always offered as a sign of respect to the family of the deceased. This money will also help the family defray the costs of the funeral.
This rule is simple enough. Red, in the Chinese culture, is generally reserved for joyous occasions like weddings and the New Year. Thus, wearing such a celebratory colour for a funeral is considered highly out of place. Instead, guests are usually expected to dress in white, black, or other muted colours.
While it may not be as common for people to wear the color white for such a somber occasion, it can be done. However, it must be done tastefully if you decide to do so. The last thing you want to do is come off as disrespectful, so today, we're sharing the dos and don't of dressing for a funeral.
However, white is the color of mourning in China, and for Sikh, Hindu, and some Muslim services. For a non-traditional gathering like a celebration of life service, you may be asked to wear bright colors or even a costume.
A clean, white dress shirt is the best choice. A subdued color like gray or black can also work. Again, avoid bright colors. The focus of any funeral is to mourn the deceased while also celebrating their life.
Muted colours like white, black, dark green, dark blue, or grey are appropriate colours of clothing attire in a Chinese funeral. Do not wear bright coloured shirts or pants such as red, yellow, light green, orange, or shirts with ostentatious designs and colours.
Chinese funeral guests can be expected to give the grieving family money, 奠儀 (diàn yí), at the funeral or one day prior. The traditional gift is an odd dollar amount, starting at $101, in a white envelope. It may be handed to a family member or put into a donation box.
Typical condolences messages like 'I'm sorry for your loss', and 'My thoughts are with you during this time' are quite safe. In Chinese, you can say something like 'jie ai shun bian'.
Funerals are sombre affairs, so wearing neutral, monochrome colours are expected when attending a funeral. Some religions and traditions have set attire for the family members, but if you are just a visitor to the funeral, colours like black, white, or muted shades are acceptable.
Families typically wear white and opt not to wear jewelry. Red is not worn in clothing or accessories, as it is considered a color of happiness. Western influences have made black attire more acceptable at Chinese funerals, but in some instances, guests who wear black will add a white armband to their outfits.
Good choices for flowers include lilies and chrysanthemums, particularly in white or yellow. According to most traditions, Chinese culture recognizes them as funeral flowers. Roses are acceptable but only in white.
The amount of condolences money you give depends on your relationship with the deceased and their family. Here are some guidelines: For distant acquaintances or colleagues, $20 to $50 is appropriate. For closer friends or relatives, $50 to $100 is appropriate.
A general rule of thumb is that donations should be in line with the cost of a bouquet of funeral flowers. Even just a nominal donation for people on tight budgets is a welcome gesture. Funeral flowers tend to cost in the range of $50 to $80 for a moderate to well-sized bouquet, and $100 or more for a large wreath.
Chinese funerals tend to be carried out over seven days. During this period, people may dress in subdued colours, including white, which is associated with death (a white banner may be hung above the door of the bereaved family's house).
If you don't have a black tie, a plain or muted-patterned tie in a dark colour is acceptable these days. It's tradition to wear a white shirt at a funeral, but a plain, unpatterned buttoned shirt in a muted colour is okay. Shoes should be dark, clean and polished.
Don't assume that the family expects every single person to wear head-to-toe black unless they've told you this directly. Some white, as part of an otherwise simple, relatively dressed-up and conservative outfit, is usually fine.
Much like with men's funeral attire, color should be used to subtly accent your outfit. Try to make sure that your outfit does not have overly bright colors or wild patterns that draw attention. Remember, you are there to mourn the loss and support the family, you outfit should not make you the center of attention.