These relationships may last along a continuum, from emotional affairs to serial affairs, or romantic love affairs, and even long-term affairs which may span for years or even an entire lifetime.
The double life can be mentally stressful
Can extramarital affairs last a lifetime? They can, but the effort that goes into maintaining two relationships, especially when the primary partner is neither aware of nor has consented to the presence of someone else in the equation, can become really stressful after a point.
Most Affairs Don't End With Happily Ever After
The vast majority of affairs don't result in a happy marriage and growing old together. While the spark of connection can feel intense and demanding, consider that it may not mean forever and evaluate whether it's worth the risk.
Yes, it is possible for someone to fall in love with an affair partner, although it can be a complicated and emotionally fraught experience. These relationships have trust issues due to how they began. In order to make the relationships work, the couple needs to work diligently at trust.
An affair can become long-lasting love when both parties are in love and are ready to do right by each other. This often happens when the person being cheated with seems to outperform the present partner. You might get confused if you are really in love or not.
Not all affairs happen in bad marriages and affairs usually cause a good marriage to go bad. However, the attention given to a marriage after an affair is revealed can bring changes that allow couples to grow closer than ever before and resolve issues long unresolved. Affairs happen for a myriad of reasons.
03/8The shocking finding. Shockingly, seven out of ten participants confessed that having an extramarital affair made them feel more satisfied in their marriage.
Research in the field of infidelity reveals that there are three distinct personality types correlated with a higher likelihood of cheating: sociopaths, narcissists, and lonely hearts.
Why do people cheat? A wide variety of factors can bring out some type of affair. A study of 495 people revealed eight key reasons: anger, low self-esteem, lack of love, low commitment, need for variety, neglect, sexual desire, and circumstance.
Johns Hopkins University. "Married people who cheat don't often regret it: Infidelity survey reveals little remorse, high rates of satisfaction." ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily, 22 May 2023.
Sometimes, an affair ends when one (or both) of the partners decides that the affair has become more trouble than it is worth. They may then choose to break the affair off. In some instances, the affair is somehow discovered by the betrayed spouse, and this may bring a halt to the relationship.
Affairs are addictive and there is a reason why, when someone gets involved and makes those choices, it is hard to get out,” she explained. “It is because you get chemically addicted, there are dopamine hits that happen in your brain that makes them addicted to this person.”
In other words, the disregard of boundaries can lead to broken trust and unexplainable heartache. Emotional affairs are detrimental to relationships. They are built on mistrust, deceit, manipulation, lies, and betrayal. As a result, they can lead to betrayal trauma.
Yet, most affairs usually end one of two ways: with divorce or a stronger current relationship.
Those involved in the affair really don't know each other.
But not only do their shared misery and the excitement blind them to seeing each other more completely, so do their needs and frustrations with their partners. The new person is less a real person and more an 'un-person'—the seeming opposite of the partner.
If you're considering staying after infidelity, it's probably because you still love your partner and you want to be with them. And this is perfectly okay! There's nothing wrong with you. You may share life events, children, memories, special moments, etc.
Supporting data from the IFS 1990s survey also says that men have always been more inclined to cheat than women. But during this period, older men have the same tendency to cheat as their younger peers. The survey says that infidelity among men peaked at the age of 50 to 59 (31%).
Our interest develops into an obsession: We can't stop thinking about the other person even if we try to concentrate on other things. We daydream and fantasize about the other person constantly. The relationship causes euphoria -- an intense "high" or feeling of joy and well-being.
Just because they're happy together, doesn't mean they're not sleeping with others. We would all like to believe that affairs are the refuge of the discontented, that only people in unhappy marriages cheat. But “happy,” it turns out, is not a sufficient antidote to affair.
Research has found that, when the affair is revealed, both partners can experience mental health issues including anxiety, depression and thoughts of suicide. There can also be an increase in emotional and physical violence within the couple.
People who cheat are likely impulsive and destructive at decision making. Instead of thinking about you and what happens to the relationship after cheating, they go based on what they want right now. Impulsiveness can be seen in other areas of the relationship, too. So keep an eye out.
A man can cheat and still love his wife.
The roller coaster of emotions that follows the discovery of his infidelity can be excruciating for both of you. It is entirely normal to experience intense emotional pain in response to infidelity. You may feel like running away or want to know everything about the other woman.
Can infidelity cause mental illness? Infidelity can cause symptoms similar to post-traumatic stress from the relationship breach that were not previously present before an affair. Some common symptoms may include flashbacks, nightmares, and obsessions about the event.
According to a survey of 1,000 people on how affairs get exposed, 39% of the respondents said they were caught when their partner read a message or two on their phones.
Infidelity is associated with several personality traits: loneliness, extroversion, anxiety, depression, moodiness, narcissism, openness to new experiences, frequent use of alcohol, a history of child sexual abuse, and knowledge that one or both of one's parents had been unfaithful.