People who have ADHD frequently experience emotions so deeply that they become overwhelmed or “flooded.” They may feel joy, anger, pain, or confusion in a given situation—and the intensity may precede impulsive behaviors they regret later.
Adults with ADHD had a much higher incidence of insecure attachment styles than reported in the general population. Conclusion: There seems to be a clear association between ADHD and insecure attachment.
ADHD and Attachment Theory start to connect based on ADHD's links to hyperexcitability, difficulty focusing, and impulsivity. All of these traits which can be challenging for a caregiver to manage in everyday scenarios and could potentially interrupt the quality of the bond that the caregiver and child form.
People with ADHD may be seen as insensitive, self-absorbed, or disengaged with the world around them. Emotional detachment, or the act of being disconnected or disengaged from the feelings of others, is a symptom of ADHD. However, it can also be caused by Adderall, a medication used to treat ADHD and narcolepsy.
Emotional dysregulation — or the inability to properly modulate and regulate emotions — is often seen in people with ADHD, starting in childhood and lasting well into adulthood. However, it isn't listed as a symptom of ADHD in the DSM-V, which has increasingly focused on hyperactivity, impulsivity, and inattention.
Women with ADHD face the same feelings of being overwhelmed and exhausted as men with ADHD commonly feel. Psychological distress, feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem, and chronic stress are common. Often, women with ADHD feel that their lives are out of control or in chaos, and daily tasks may seem impossibly huge.
Children with ADHD possess many notable characteristics. They tend to act impulsively, get bored easily, and become quickly distracted. One of the side effects of the combination of many of these symptoms can result in a lack of empathy.
These conditions might include depression, PTSD, or borderline personality disorder. Medication and therapy are often helpful for these conditions. If the emotional detachment symptoms result from trauma, your doctor may recommend psychotherapy, also known as talk therapy.
The ADHD brain experiences feelings on a spectrum that ranges from emotional numbness to intense engagement.
Symptoms of ADHD can also cause relationship issues that make it harder for you and your partner to enjoy intimacy. For example, mood swings may make you more prone to arguing. Or you may zone out during conversations or arguments. That could make your partner feel like you're ignoring them.
Partners diagnosed with ADHD share many of the same frustrations as their non-ADHD counterparts. They feel misunderstood and unloved. They get angry when their partners criticize them a lot. They worry when their relationship breaks down because of their disorganization and distractibility.
People with an insecure attachment style generally have trouble connecting emotionally. They can be aggressive or unpredictable toward their loved ones—a behavior rooted in the lack of consistent love and affection they experienced in childhood.
Understanding ADHD Relationships
The condition, alone, can't make or break a romantic relationship. But, if symptoms of attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD) are not properly acknowledged, treated, and accepted, they can — and often do — create or exacerbate marital tensions.
Yes, adults and teens with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) can remain in one monogamous relationship while dating or married. While ADHD brings an additional set of challenges into a relationship, the challenges do not need to be considered overwhelming.
Children who have attachment issues can develop two possible types of disorders: Reactive Attachment Disorder and Disinhibited Social Engagement Disorder. Children with RAD are less likely to interact with other people because of negative experiences with adults in their early years.
An attachment disorder is a type of mood or behavioral disorder that affects a person's ability to form and maintain relationships. These disorders typically develop in childhood. They can result when a child is unable to have a consistent emotional connection with a parent or primary caregiver.
Personal choice. Some people might choose to detach emotionally as a way to cope with stress, anxiety, or boundaries violations. Emotional detachment can be a positive coping mechanism if you're experiencing a temporary problem, but it can negatively affect your life or relationships if it becomes an overused strategy.
Emotional distancing can be temporary, in response to a stressful or unpleasant situation, or ongoing, which appears in people who suffer from attachment disorders. Whatever kind of emotional distancing you're experiencing, you should try and find professional assistance to help you cope with it and overcome it.
Adults with ADHD may find it difficult to focus and prioritize, leading to missed deadlines and forgotten meetings or social plans. The inability to control impulses can range from impatience waiting in line or driving in traffic to mood swings and outbursts of anger.
In fact, some people with ADHD have trouble reining in their empathy. They might call themselves empaths, as I explain below. Stimulant medication often helps them, too. It's all about the self-regulation: not over-doing, not under-doing, but finding the middle ground.
Many adults with ADHD have trouble performing at work and difficulty with day-to-day responsibilities (e.g., completing household chores, paying bills, organizing things). To others, they may come across as insensitive, uncaring or irresponsible, which can damage their relationships.