For many people affected by ADHD, key symptoms like inattention, forgetfulness, and disorganization negatively affect their relationships. The partners without ADHD can misinterpret their partners' intentions, resulting in increased frustration and resentment.
Symptoms of ADHD that can cause relationship problems
If you have ADHD, you may zone out during conversations, which can make your partner feel ignored and devalued. You may also miss important details or mindlessly agree to something you don't remember later, which can be frustrating to your loved one. Forgetfulness.
Symptoms of ADHD can also cause relationship issues that make it harder for you and your partner to enjoy intimacy. For example, mood swings may make you more prone to arguing. Or you may zone out during conversations or arguments. That could make your partner feel like you're ignoring them.
Individuals with ADHD reported significantly more hypersexual behaviors than non-ADHD individuals, whereas no differences were found concerning risky sexual behaviors or sexual dysfunctions.
If you have ADHD, you might find it hard to date, make friends, or parent. That's partly because good relationships require you to be aware of other people's thoughts and feelings. But ADHD can make it hard for you to pay attention or react the right way.
Relationships can be difficult, and dating someone with ADHD is no different. Even if your partner is in treatment and engaged in coping strategies, they may still battle symptoms. Remember that ADHD is an ongoing condition that requires ongoing support.
If your teen is in a romantic relationship with someone with ADHD, you may wonder if there's anything in particular your child needs to know. But having ADHD may not have any impact on a relationship. And there's no reason to think that a teen with ADHD wouldn't be as loving a romantic partner as anyone else.
An ADHD sufferer may be unable to pay attention to anything that isn't new, which pulls attention away from the relationship as it matures. Because he's not aware that he's doing anything wrong, the ADHD partner often doesn't respond or take the necessary steps to focus on the relationship.
“Self-medicating” with argument is a prime example. Many people with ADHD are, if anything, argument-averse. And certainly, you needn't have ADHD to be an argumentative son of a gun. Yet, some individuals with ADHD do habitually bait others into heated disagreements.
In fact, the relationship failure rate is twice as high for individuals with ADHD. The ADHD-affected relationship can be very challenging due to common ADHD symptoms such as persistent distractibility, inattention, forgetfulness, physical and mental restlessness, along with impulsive behavior and/or speech.
Impulsive behavior
Adults with ADHD tend to do or say things without thinking. They might blurt out something insensitive, or make a big purchase without looking at their finances or having a discussion with you first. Their impulsive tendencies can often lead to reckless, even destructive actions.
Partners diagnosed with ADHD share many of the same frustrations as their non-ADHD counterparts. They feel misunderstood and unloved. They get angry when their partners criticize them a lot. They worry when their relationship breaks down because of their disorganization and distractibility.
Adult ADHD can tear a marriage apart. But with love, understanding, and the right treatment, most marriages affected by adult ADHD can become the loving bonds they started out as, and are meant to be.
I love that she can't stay angry for very long because she completely forgot that she was angry in the first place. I love that when she has an idea, she jumps right in. So many of the best things in our life come from decisions she made on a whim — decisions that I would have never considered.
Divorce and ADHD. Estimates vary, but some studies suggest that the divorce rate among couples touched by ADHD is as much as twice that of the general population.
Can someone with ADHD fall in love? While all kinds of people can fall in love, the experience of people with ADHD falling in love can be more intense for them. This is because the person with ADHD can hyperfocus on the person they are in love with.
It's true: Attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD) has strained more than a few romantic relationships. Equally true (though less recognized) is the fact that partners with ADHD are among the most loyal, generous, engaged, and genuinely fun people you could meet.
ADHD makes us more sensitive to criticism. Often, our first instinct is to respond defensively or angrily to outside comments that feel like disapproval. But adults with attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD) should know that doing so could sacrifice learning opportunities and the respect of others.
Problems with emotional dysregulation, in particular with anger reactivity, are very common in people with ADHD. You are not alone in struggling in this area. Anger may indicate an associated mood problem but often is just part of the ADHD. Either way, changes in traditional ADHD treatment can be very helpful.
People with ADHD have a hard time with conversation. They might get distracted and lose track of what the other person is saying. They might ramble, and monopolize the conversation, said psychotherapist Terry Matlen, ACSW. They might interrupt.
You may have explosive bursts of anger. You might have a hard time expressing your anger verbally, which can lead to even more frustration. You might not notice other people's feelings, or you might misinterpret them. You might find it easier to feel and express anger or sadness than you do other feelings.
What Is Gaslighting? Gaslighting is a form of psychological or emotional abuse — a series of manipulative techniques designed to gain control of another person. By blatantly and repeatedly lying or challenging reality, the gaslighters keep their victims off-kilter and make them question themselves.