Small changes in behavior can often be the first sign that a therapist is attracted to a client. At this point, the therapist might not be fully aware of the attraction, leading them to act on emotions they would otherwise keep in check. The therapist might seem more flirtatious, and even seductive.
They won't tell you that. It's too dangerous. A therapist will almost never say, “I love you,” even if they feel or think it. Therapists know that the therapy relationship can be confusing, and it's not unusual for clients to get the wrong idea and fall in love with their therapists.
Is it okay to flirt with your therapist? You can bring just about any legal, non-dangerous behavior into the therapy room. It all means something, and it might be useful for you to express the feelings, explore them and resolve them. Therapy is a place with tons of boundaries, big and small, but few rules.
You may be surprised to know that what you are experiencing with your therapist isn't uncommon. In fact, what you are likely experiencing is a phenomenon known as “erotic transference,” which is when a person experiences feelings of love or fantasies of a sexual or sensual nature about his or her therapist.
Changes In Behavior. Small changes in behavior can often be the first sign that a therapist is attracted to a client. At this point, the therapist might not be fully aware of the attraction, leading them to act on emotions they would otherwise keep in check. The therapist might seem more flirtatious, and even seductive ...
If you're falling in love with your therapist, try not to panic. This is a common experience called transference. Discovering and healing the root of why you're experiencing transference can help you achieve healthier relationships, including the one you have with your therapist.
Can your therapist initiate a hug? A therapist can hug a client if they think it may be productive to the treatment. A therapist initiating a hug in therapy depends on your therapist's ethics, values, and assessment of whether an individual client feels it will help them.
Being liked and seen as helpful feels good
“Some people want their therapist to like them for the same reason they would want anyone to like them — because it makes them feel good,” said Kristi Beroldi, a licensed professional counselor and assistant clinic director for Thriveworks in Reston, Virginia.
An obvious sign of transference is when a client directs emotions at the therapist. For example, if a client cries and accuses the therapist of hurting their feelings for asking a probing question, it may be a sign that a parent hurt the client regarding a similar question/topic in the past.
Therapeutic compliments have proven to be highly effective means of motivating clients, while at the same time increasing therapeutic leverage.
Your therapist's relationship with you exists between sessions, even if you don't communicate with each other. She thinks of your conversations, as well, continuing to reflect on key moments as the week unfolds. She may even reconsider an opinion she had or an intervention she made during a session.
The therapeutic relationship does share some of the same qualities as friendship. You should be able to trust and feel comfortable with your therapist, but that doesn't mean that these feelings are the same thing you would experience in a friendship.
Can I ask My Therapist What He/She Thinks of Me? Yes, you can, and yes you should. This is a reasonable question to ask a therapist, and any good therapist will be happy to answer.
So clients often have feelings for their therapists that are like the ones that children have towards their parents. Sometimes it feels like falling in love. Transference is completely natural and normal, and it can enhance the experience of therapy significantly.
It's natural and not uncommon to feel close to your therapist and want to be friends with them. However, building a personal relationship with them goes against most mental health counseling codes of ethics. It may also impact your therapeutic process and lessen therapy's benefits.
It depends on how far the attachment goes. There are professional ethics, but there is also the trust between the two. The thin line cannot be crossed, so it can make some feel uncomfortable, but I do not think it creep me out or scared. I want the trust, I need the openness to be able to help properly.
Well-timed, the question can lead to breakthroughs regarding unhelpful patterns, difficult feelings, and negative interpersonal relationships. It can reconnect you with any feelings you may be trying to avoid by overthinking the situation. So, yes, the question may be an attempt to interrupt and go deeper.
Be Open With Your Therapist
Although uncomfortable, discussing your feelings with your therapist is the best course of action. Let them know that you are experiencing feelings towards them. They have likely dealt with this before, and if not, they know how to handle it.
They are interested in what you have to say and ask you lots of questions. They laugh at your jokes, even the lame ones. They initiate physical contact. They try to find space where you can talk more privately (this does not always mean sex, but it often means they wish for more quality time with you).