Victims effectually lose some aspects of their personality and life force, which is why a common complaint is that they don't know who they are anymore and that they can barely survive day-to-day. It also explains why narcissistic abuse is often coined “rape of the soul”.
During narcissistic abuse, the narcissist is guilty of soul vandalism, of stealing and devastating your soul. They literally begin to live as you, with your capabilities, endurance, super traits and they leave you with themselves – feeling hollow, needy, with low energy and disgusted with yourself.
Without the False Self, the True Self would be subjected to so much hurt that it will disintegrate. This happens to narcissists who go through a life crisis: Their False Ego becomes dysfunctional and they experience a harrowing feeling of annulment. The False Self has many functions.
Narcissistic supply is a form of psychological addiction where the narcissist requires–and even demands–limitless special treatment, admiration, importance, or validation to feed their sense of entitlement and self-centeredness.
Is the goal of a narcissist is to break your spirit? No. The goal of a narcissist is to get you to validate and admire them so they can have their fragile self-esteem regulated. Leaving someone with a “broken spirit” is the result of the narcissist attacking you for not giving them what they feel entitled to.
Grooming a person, manipulating her into doubting her feelings, generating shame regarding her best qualities, and manipulatively creating dependency are four ways a narcissist destroys a person from the inside out.
Signs and symptoms of narcissistic abuse syndrome
Long-term abuse can change a victim's brain, resulting in cognitive decline and memory loss. In turn, the changes in the brain can increase the risk for chronic stress, PTSD, and symptoms of self-sabotage.
If you're in a relationship with a narcissist, you may find that you're sacrificing things for the sake of their needs on a regular basis, but they refuse to do the same for you. It also means they'll do almost anything to others in order to meet their own needs.
Narcissists thrive on getting attention, feeling special, and having control. He is an expert at getting an emotional reaction out of you – good or bad – because it makes him feel powerful and better than you.
In other words, if a narcissist spends money on you, it's because they want something from you. Whether it's complimenting them, offering friendship, providing a loan, or giving them a place to crash. If the narcissist has nothing to gain, they will become incredibly miserly towards others and give little to them.
A narcissist will perceive their loved one's death as a form of a cosmic joke being played on them. They generally fail to see death as anything other than a trick the universe is playing on them to punish them in some way.
No they don't grieve. They can't because they have no empathy. They might pretend to but it's not real and if they do display such characteristics at a funeral it is only to draw attention to themselves. If their spouse dies they get pissed off because it's very inconvenient for them.
People who narcissists have hurt suffer, and so do the narcissist themselves. The best way to work toward less suffering in the world is by seeing the victim in the villain so everyone can have a chance at happiness. Laura Silverstein is a mental health professional with a passion for bridging differences.
Interestingly, the narcissist doesn't just fear to lose you because you make their world go round. They fear to lose you because you also make their world look good.
So, when a narcissist does not receive the validation they believe they are entitled to, they may experience high levels of emotional distress, leading to a narcissistic collapse.
The signs of narcissistic collapse may vary from person to person. In general, it may involve intense emotional reactions and a tendency toward vindictive behaviors, but it could also lead to depression and withdrawal. Narcissistic collapse isn't a permanent occurrence once it happens.
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
They only want to associate and be associated with other high-status people, places, and things. Narcissists also believe that they're better than everyone else and expect recognition as such—even when they've done nothing to earn it.
In fact, narcissists prefer to target someone who is strong-willed, and who has talents or characteristics they admire, because they believe it makes them shine too. "Narcissists are drawn to those who can boost their own self-esteem and validate their sense of importance," Wasser told Insider.
It is because of this that they may find it difficult to understand other people's feelings or perspectives, a self-centredness that can cause them to act selfishly and exploit others for their own gain. “As narcissists do not have empathy, they are not able to genuinely care or love you,” explains Davey.
It's not uncommon for a narcissist to stalk and harass those who break up with them, to release intimate photos or texts (also known as “revenge porn”) of their former significant others, or to go out of their way to slander the work of someone who does not confirm their grandiose view of themselves as all-knowing.
[8] point out that NPD patients are at high risk for completed suicides or highly lethal attempts without warning signs or self-disclosures. Indeed, they are made with the intention to end their lives.
The damage to the amygdala of the victims of narcissistic abuse become trapped in a permanent state of fear and anxiety and react badly to environmental triggers that remind them of the violation by the narcissist. This means that victims of narcissistic abuse are constantly alert to the danger that does not exist now.
Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance. They need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them. People with this disorder may lack the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others.