Narcissists generally dislike spending too much time alone. They crave attention from others because it provides them with validation. But they can also be introverted and enjoy their own solitude. Whether they want to be alone at a given moment varies based on their mood, desires, and current connections to others.
Narcissists hate to be alone. They need external validation for their existence. At all times they have to latch on to someone, whether it be a friend, a colleague, or a romantic partner.
Living with a narcissist may feel difficult, but it's possible to preserve your well-being with strong boundaries, a solid support network, and a therapist who's informed on narcissism. You may also find it useful to attend a National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) family support group in your area.
But, although agentic grandiose narcissists come across as very confident and satisfied with themselves, some psychologists have suggested that they don't actually feel as good about themselves as they appear.
Narcissists can sometimes be helpful and caring. However, more often than not, they only pretend to have these qualities. Moreover, even when they act giving and helping, they are not motivated by empathy because they severely lack it, and as a result, their help is often not very productive.
They are punitive with money. Narcissists often use money as a tool for punishment. They may reward you financially when you do what they want, and then withhold money when they feel vindictive. This can feel unsafe, degrading and confusing.
Summary: For most people, narcissism wanes as they age. A new study reports the magnitude of the decline of narcissistic traits is tied to specific career and personal relationship choices. However, this is not true for everyone.
Narcissistic Vulnerability
Despite having seemingly strong personalities, narcissists are actually very vulnerable. Psychotherapists consider them to be “fragile.” They suffer from profound alienation, emptiness, powerlessness, and lack of meaning.
He is the person most insensitive to his true needs. The narcissist drains himself of mental energy in this process. This is why he has none left to dedicate to others. This fact, as well as his inability to love human beings in their many dimensions and facets, ultimately transform him into a recluse.
They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.
At the end of a relationship, narcissists may become combative, passive-aggressive, hostile, and even more controlling. People with NPD often fail to understand other people's needs and values. They are hyper focused on their egos, but do not account for how their actions affect others.
Narcissists do get worse as they get older. With age comes a lack of independence and narcissistic supply. So, aging narcissists tend to become the extreme versions of their worst selves. They don't develop a late-onset self-awareness, they just become more abusive, manipulative, hypersensitive, rageful, and entitled.
Narcissists value fame, beauty, and success more than relationships. Sure, they date and have friends and often these relationships start out exciting — but fizzle quickly. “People who are narcissistic should have a trail of bad relationships behind them,” Campbell said.
They can't ever leave themselves. Being a narcissist is seriously lonely. They can't build relationships that go the distance — not with families, friends and intimate partners. And their core insecurity means they don't even like themselves.
The narcissist often engages in self-defeating and self-destructive behaviours.
The bottom line is that narcissists can be successful and happy, but it takes a lot of work on their part and the support from those around them who want this success for them too! Narcissists' happiness depends greatly on how much effort they put into maintaining healthy relationships at home or work.
They experienced higher levels of negative emotions and walked away with particularly negative views of their ex-partner. So if you're ending a relationship with a narcissist, you may find them either especially nonchalant about the breakup or especially upset.
According to Thomaes & Brummelman, the development of narcissism begins at around the ages of 7 or 8. This is the time when children begin to evaluate themselves according to how they perceive others.
According to Julie L. Hall, author of “The Narcissist in Your Life: Recognizing the Patterns and Learning to Break Free,” narcissists become more extreme versions of their worst selves as they age, which includes becoming more desperate, deluded, paranoid, angry, abusive, and isolated.
It is important to note that overall narcissism scores generally declined from age 18 to age 41. So, when a life experience is associated with higher levels of a facet of narcissism at age 41, it means that having this life experience led this facet of narcissism to decline less than expected.
The most effective weapon to fend off narcissists is self-love. When you love yourself, it is more difficult for the narcissist to manipulate you and get under your skin. It will hurt them to know that you do not need them, that you are better off without them, and that you love yourself exactly as you are.
For a narcissist, their needs must always be put first, and they will never reciprocate those feelings for anyone else. The world revolves around them, and everyone who happens to be part of that world should go along with it.